I'm afraid of pregancy but I still want to have sex

I realized that I am actually afraid of having sex because of pregnancy. Yeah, sure, STDs are another thing. But I am more so afraid of pregnancy. Even though I know about birth control methods such as the calendar method, condoms, hormonal birth control, etc. I'm still afraid of the pregnancy test testing positive. I also know about emergency contraception as well. I really want to have sex because I LOVE the way the man's genitalia looks and feels, I'm curious, I'm jealous of others who do have sex, and I'm a virgin. I especially don't want to be a virgin because the stereotypes of virgins make me angry and I just want to live my life here. I feel like I've been missing out and I know that I have!