750 mg + 150 mg HBr at about 8 mg/kg trip report and question about effects others experience

Over the weekend I started with a 750 mg initial dose (on 3 hours of fasting with a run and protein-filled meal beforehand) followed by a 150 mg boost about 2.5-3 hours in. That's around 8 mg/kg boosted to 9.6 mg/kg for me. I also took one tablet of 25 mg of diphenhydramine (I've found it helps mostly for controlling any itching). I recently read a Feynman biography where he talks a little about ketamine and sensory deprivation in a somewhat detailed way so I figured I would provide an excessively detailed trip report and ask if anyone has had similar experiences for comparison.

Excessively detailed trip report:

I took the big pile of pills over about a 20 minute span. Started feeling very warm as usual with my come-up in the first hour. (I've seen myself in the mirror looking sunburned; I did wear a bag of frozen vegetables on my head to cool off). No real itching; I don't usually get much nausea although the pills get harder to swallow after the first 20-30. This time I chase them with orange gatorade.

By about 1:30 the effects have started to fill in. Typing becomes more difficult as coordination gets sluggish and vision blurry/exaggerated. I start having some closed-eye phosphene shapes and open-eye shapes (sort of flashing chevrons or triangles). I listen/watch some MST3K for the come-up. I also prepare my playlist set with music but didn't get to that for a while. I slowly get more languid, drunk and euphoric as the dxm sets in (just sort of an overall warm, "feel-good" feeling).

At 2:00-3:00 I start experiencing the sensory lag, e.g. you turn your head and it takes a moment for the vision to process and register you've turned. This starts with some flanging (vision appearing sort of like stop-motion) but eventually moves onto delays that feel much longer (I turn my head and it feels like seconds pass before what I am looking at registers). I wonder around my apartment checking out the mirror and near the 2:30 hour mark I take the 150 mg booster I had set aside (mostly remember snapshots of opening the bottle, downing 5 pills at a time after awkwardly filling my glass with water).

By this point my body feels pretty numb. It's difficult to fill a glass of water and bring it to my face (no feeling in my mouth and depth perception is a bit weird so it's hard to tell when the glass has reached my lips, coordination is off so tipping the glass up is awkward as well).

By this point my playlist was mostly forgotten. I sit down at my computer and prepare to start it and then feel like I should go to the bathroom first. Then I go in the bathroom and (as is typical for me on dxm) it is very difficult to pee anything because there just isn't anything to piss out (I'm pretty sure the kidneys start focusing on processing the dxm, but I may also be somewhat dehydrated as well).

About an hour stretch seems filled with weird repetitive neurosis. Janky and awkward ambling from my desk to the bathroom or my desk to the kitchen (robotwalking all the way). Repeating similar motions in a sort of euphoric but absent-minded way. I don't have OCD or anything, so I'm not sure what the reason behind it is.

From 3:00 I start getting the disassociative and solipsistic thoughts I've come to expect. This tends to be filled with a lot of deja vu and weird thoughts about the universe and life. I have an image I felt like I've memorized and seen at a specific point in the past and I get the overwhelming feeling that I've returned to life at that point. It feels like all of life and the universe is actually only this loop of time. It's like the episode of Dr. Who where the Doctor shows up as a hologram that wipes memories and traps a guy in a time loop except I have brief insight that I am in the loop. I feel like I am having a moment of clarity, learning that I am in a loop that keeps happening and I have thoughts about "What if this is all life is? A loop I'll repeat but won't remember outside of these trips." or "Can I stop the loop?" or "Maybe this is the universe. A world consisting of a brief moment of consciousness that starts at this point, ends, and then just repeats infinitely."

I usually have similar experiences whenever I have a 675 mg + dose, so I've become a bit more familiar with them (so they're less worrisome; I am less anxious that I am actually trapped or stuck in a loop now). This happens when I end up looking at a specific thing (like my face near a door jamb and the clutter in the background). It used to happen when I would open my eyes lying on the floor after listening to music and I would see the same image with my TV and lamp and bookshelf above me (so I started draping things over my TV in an Inception-esque memento of "this is different, not a loop"). In this trip I realized this happens even when I'm not looking at an old image, my brain just interprets the image I'm seeing as very familiar and sets that deja vu in place; i.e. I was looking at the guitar case on my couch and it felt like I was looking at the same mental picture from 4 years earlier and I felt like I was back in my old apartment (but I didn't have the same case then, so upon becoming more 'sober' I realize what I was seeing would be an impossibility).

At around 4:00 hours in I begin to have more control over my faculties and controlling what I specifically want to do and can actually get my playlist started and lay down on the floor to listen. I am still interrupted every 30-45 minutes by the urge to pee (in some weird misguided effort so that I won't be interrupted and can just listen to music) but don't need to or can't actually pee very much.

Since I play my music in my headphones there's usually minimal sound in my apartment. It becomes very difficult to judge how loud things are (although once I have headphones on it's easy to tell if they're set too loud). I tend to hear a constant buzz otherwise (probably my computer fan or the blood flow in my ears). My body feels numb and uncoordinated (I did masturbate at the end of this trip, but with quite a bit more effort than usual). Foods lack flavor (I've started having vegetables and foods with more texture to snack on at the end of my trip since if I can't taste it, why bother with unhealthy stuff). I eat some carrots and green beans that are more satisfying than expected. Smell also seems subdued (although I haven't really tested out smelling stuff while tripping). Visuals appear consistently trippy (closed and open-eye visuals, flanging, blurred/exaggerated text on computer screens).

That all eventually settles down and I can get to the awesome listening experience with visualizations. Stuff like listening to Vivaldi and imagining beautifully detailed nature scenes while Four Seasons plays. Or weird mechanical clock insides (for some reason) for Beethoven's 9th. Or just neat pulsing lights for Lady Gaga (...slight change in genre).

As far as I can tell there wasn't much effect from the 150 mg boost (other than maybe making the trip another hour longer, usually the effects are mostly dulled after 7-8 hours, but this went for about 9).

I think I prefer the bottle of delsym + pills (540 mg polistirex + 300 mg HBr). It's a bit more mellow drunk, relaxed and long-lasting state compared to the weird "What if consciousness is the perpetual illusion of a construct trapped in a brief loop of an ephemeral yet repeating universe?" thoughts I get with straight HBr.

So I was wondering if anyone else has those kinds of weird deja vu thoughts on high dose trips or if the experience is substantially different for different people.

Either way, hopefully this is helpful or informative for someone.