Why do I Love U?

I begged.
I needed you.
I needed you so bad
But you left me lying alone
like roadkill.

Is that what I am to you????
Roadkill?
Someone who just simply doesn't even matter?
You pretend to love me
but then I catch you cheating
sharing your love with others.
Are you a fucking goodwill?

I love you.
My friends ask me why but I can't tell them.
You attack me.
You berate me.
To you,
I'm no more than a punching bag
I'm meat on a meathook
and you're rocky.

Why do I love you????
Why?
I tell you you're abusive
you laugh in my face.
You tell me I'm overreacting.
These tears streaming down my face
like a water wall at a fancy restaurant.
You fucked me up, man.
You fucked me up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4l1t2e/sammy_the_thug/d3jvfcp

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4l1d5a/sonnet_xvi/d3jvr81

So, this poem comes from a really deep place, describing my most recent relationship(as most my poems do) It was written in 7 mins and 49 seconds. I hope you guys like it, it's a little bit messy, but I wanted it to be my stream of thoughts, which were anything but organized at the time.