You treated me like and option, when you should have treated me like a companion.

I'm sorry if this is the wrong place, but I need to get this off my chest.

You treated me like and option, when I treated you like a princess. I would always but your needs first before my own, known that it wasn't good for me. I wouldn't hear from you for days, weeks and even months. I understood that you maybe needed some space to work things out, I asked a simple question do you want to be with me.

I didn't ask you to marry me, I didn't ask that you spend every waking hour or day with me. I didn't ask you to change your life for me, all I asked is "do you want to give us a shot".

We would have so much fun with each other, laugh so hard that our lungs would hurt and smiled like it was painted on to your faces. We would do the silliest things and we'd laugh that much that Co workers would look at us like we where on day release from a metal home.

I told you things that not even my best friend knows or any of my friends for that matter. I trusted you so much that the walls I'd build to protect me you broke without any effort. You melted my heart and I thought I'd meet my soul mate. I've had butterflies, but with you this was not butterflies.

A simple touch from you would cause my body to send a wave of emotions all round my body. I can't explain this feeling other than finding someone that you feel is a part of you and your touch competed that person. You can tell me otherwise but I know you felt something also.

I feel ill because I worried about you when you would go dark, I'd wonder if you where ok. I'd wonder if I'd done anything wrong. You stressed me out, had my mind run wild since you never give me answers. I don't know after months of playing me isn't and answer. When you ended things for the final time after two other that I can remember. You contacted me via email to say you just drove pass me, I asked to be alone.

I needed time to heal but you keep at me to the point I said I'd never get back with you because it was and I think still is the best thing for me. Things got worst because communication was out the window, or wires crossed. That pushed things to breaking point for me, I'd broke out in lumps on my face, back, neck and shoulders. I'd two months off work because of it.

I was put on medication for my skin that got me down as it was a side effect. I'd my doctor make me speak to a counsellor because she was worried about my moods and metal health. I never ignored you when you'd blank me for days, weeks or months. Even when we where not really taking and I'd heard you also where in hospital. Not a second passed after I heard that, that I was on to you making sure you where ok, yet again putting you before me.

No girl, woman on this God given earth would have taken me from you, you thought you'd imperfections but to me you were perfect. You could have been covered from head to toe in mud, or anything else for that matter and I'd still think it and come hug you. I still miss you and it's still hard after all this time.

I miss my best friend, I miss my princess and I miss holding you.

I'm sorry if this is all over the place, I've just written it as it's come to my head. I'd never say any of this to her as I don't want to hurt her or upset her.