Further update . How naive I still am .

i just posted 30 mins ago to say I felt better after handling weekly Skype Call . Its my birthday this coming Weds and I just decided to do something I don 't ever do and that is open N Parents birthday cards early . I never do that but because cards from N mother and Ë father mean NOTHING to me this year I was intrigued to know how much they had sent me so I just opened them 2 minutes ago .

The NAIVETY of me is that I honestly thought they would give me a big sum because I STUPIDLY thought they might be trying very hard to " win me back " . Having opened both cards I can reveal that there is no more than usual and of course why should there be BECAUSE THEY DON'T BELIEVE THEY DID ANYTHING WRONG . Thats why I am naive because I thought they might be feeling baaad for dumping me - how silly of me , of course they dont feel Bad . Interestingly - my mothers card features a camper van with the slightly cryptic comment ( I don t trust ANYTHING they do any more ) " I thought this might make you SMILE " . Has she written that beacuse I am the grey rocking my way through the Skype calls and find it IMPOSSIBLE to smile naturally at them any more ?

Anyway thought I 'd just let you all know ( if anyones interested ) that I remain stupidly naive about them , their motives and their behaviours .

But the best thing is I DON' T CARE - which is great progress for me , so bear with me as I keep improving on this recovery road. And luckily we don t need their money as we're OK with our own .

Thanks for reading .