[Porn] 20F, Asexual Help me understand porn.

Weird title I know, sorry

I had a talk with my boyfriend [24M] today that I feel like I could have handled better. He followed Porn Stars on Instagram, The one he uses to promote his music. I just asked him not to for two reasons:

1. I felt like it was unprofessional (he uses his insta for promoting his music and your followers can see what you 'like') and a little tacky

2. It made me uncomfortable watching him scroll through a selfie of mine sandwiched in between two huge butts. I like the idea of keeping those two aspects of life separate.

Apparently he is kind of sensitive about his porn habits. It devolved into an argument since I said "I just don’t get how it doesn’t bother you" in regards to having the juxtaposition of me at the beach and an ass the size of texas. Especially in light of the fact that our emotional relationship has really suffered as a result of him being busy with recording an album and not having time to spend together. It's a problem that's definitely going to get better when he's done recording and we can talk. However, in the now I just sort of feel like the dollar store version of the people he used to follow on instagram instead of someone that he has an emotional connection with.

I just don't understand porn at all and I feel like it complicates things. For me, as an asexual girl, I could never want sex or even feel aroused unless I'm with someone I really deeply care about and love. Orgasms are nice but I really don't need to come every time. I just like seeing how happy he looks and knowing that it feels really good for him. I also like being held really close and squeezed tight. And we have sex a whole lot, multiple times a day when we do see each other. Not to brag, but he's said multiple times that I'm the best sex he's ever had. He's also mine I just get something different out of it than he does.

I guess I've tried to be understanding but I just don't understand because i'm not built that way. I cant divorce the idea of a loving stable relationship from porn the way other people can. Are there tips to not to feel so icky around porn that don't mention things like "everyone does it, you ladies read romance novels and salivate over Hugh Grant its hypocritical to not let him watch porn when you're getting off too!!!@@@" because it does not apply. Trust me I have googled a lot and there are no wikihows for my situation.

I know he's done sex work in the past and I have no problem with it. If anything I think the fact that the dudes watching my boyfriend jerk off were paying for our dates is kind of funny. Sweaty guys masturbating furiously to the idea that someday this boy will have a happy healthy relationship.

TL;DR

What is the draw of porn? Would you be comfortable if your boyfriend had a favorite porn star/would you be comfortable with your girlfriend finding out you had a favorite? How can someone that doesn't masturbate/experience sexual attraction to just the physical aspects of a person help to respect that habits of a significant other that does? what are boys thinking about when they jack it. or girls. I dont get jacking it. Tell me your funniest jacking ot stories i dont know lmao.

IDK HELP AN ASEXUAL GIRL 'GET' PORN SO SHE DOESNT FEEL LIKE SHE'S BEING CONTROLLING OVER HER VERY SEXUAL BOYFRIEND.