Being 30 and having to deal with an autism spectrum disorder.

Hello redditors,

What better place to call for a little insight than the internet, right.

Biggest question to me is how to make and maintain meaningful relations. I'm participating in three different hobbies, also member of a political party, following evening school, volunteering once a month at a local old age home and working for 50 hours a week (yes, I'm pretty busy). Alas, at every 'event' it turns out the same, it's all very functional, and nothing personal. Even with enquiries of one another's well-being, trying my best to share my experiences.

Me being in my thirties, and noticing how other people are experiencing life, it makes me ponder. Ponder a lot. Having been diagnosed with autism, or rather, pddnos, at the age of 14, and confirmed again recently, as I was / am denying it because of my success in all other fields but personal relationships, it feels it doesn't make things any different. Being told I have to accept these strained relationships, and having slim chances on improving, by multiple people, makes me on the less than positive side.

Some say my having the well above-average intelligence is to be kind of a problem; it covers up my lack of empathy to an extent, but also makes people feel weirded out, I've been told, as, apparently, they can feel what I can't and feel that I am not 'connecting'. Being bullied, extorted and manhandled at high school and trade school doesn't help the case.

I believe people can do anything, be it with some guidance, and I always focus on what people can do instead of can't do. Being told by an expert (schmexpert) I 'can't do something' really appalls me; what does reddit think is a good next step?

PS Knowing some people with autism at my work, and noticing they use it as an excuse for certain behavior, while others use it against them as an excuse to not give them something, is not ok with me. It shouldn't be an excuse for anyone.