This is a chapter from my world, was wondering if i could get some feedback?

Hi, so this is a chapter from my world and i have gotten some feedback, but i need more. I thought fellow world builders would be most helpful in giving me feedback. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RSrOEufqJiblibvjpjy9Kz4NvEk26ht2ZtFv4IPzsIk/edit?usp=sharing