Looking for some support...

Perhaps no one will see this but I could use a kind word. I have over 6 months of sobriety under my belt and I'm proud of that but I'm down today. I have a couple of sober friends that have been my sounding board but I feel like I'm kind of losing them a little just because they have their own things going on.

I have gone through so much loss in the past year and I'm still tender. I made my life around my daughter and then my nephew who I cared for as a foster parent. My nephew was moved to another foster home right before I quit drinking due to behavioral issues.

The foster system has screw him. My own guilt and anguish at him being in that position because of my sister tore me apart and took my drinking issues from bad to worse. I functioned, barely, while trying to parent 2 children who were very difficult.

Then, the rug got pulled out from underneath me. Now, my daughter is 18 and barely ever home and my nephew is gone. I've grieved in the way that only the newly sober can. How do we deal with these heavy emotions without our best friend, the bottle? Clumsily, I've discovered.

Now when I feel sad, which is my go to emotion, I have to feel sad. I have to process the raw guilt, sad and loneliness all by myself like a big girl. Damn is it hard.

Sitting in my shitty apartment for the long weekend is lonely. I haven't slept well and thought yesterday how easy it was to pass out when I was drinking. There's no escape for me now. I'm frustrated.

Sorry to be a downer but I'm a bit down. I just got myself worked up because my apartment sucks and my a/c is out. It's 87 degrees and my complex has known my a/c is out since last week. I need to move. I don't know how I can do that and it feels overwhelming.

Hope you guys are having more fun this weekend than I am! Sober on, my fellow sober warriors!