I wrote a song I call: "Five Nights at Anger Management." (Some profanity)

FNaF Anger Management

PhoneG: Alright, welcome to anger management friends! I can't believe there are at least 10 of us here today! Much better than last week! Anyway, we're here to listen to each other's problems and discuss about them. Some of you are speakers and some are listeners so please follow your jobs. My name is Phone Guy by the way. First up, we have Mr. Schmidt!

 

[Music kicks in, this part is sung]

Mike: I needed a simple job

One that wasn't hard at all

So I applied at this place with singing robots

 

But they weren't that friendly

They were extremely glitchy

And they wanted me killed very badly!

 

I always have to check the left

Because Bonnie wants me dead

Yet for some reason he skips by the endo head!

 

You know when Chica flees

She is coming straight for me

I'm getting tired of hearing that scream!

 

Then I check on Pirate's Cove

Since Foxy isn't slow

He runs faster than a motor boat!

 

I need to beg the company

"Give me more power please!"

When it's out I'm greeted by Freddy

 

But the man on the phone didn't say

That posters change frequently

And I get greeted by goldy randomly!

 

[Chorus, music slows, back to narration]

PhoneG: Haha, great job Mike! Nice and civil. I'm glad you can release your anger verbally! Now, let's see who's next. "Bite Victim", hm, interesting name. Well come on up Bite Victim!

 

BV: Oh Mike you think your life is bad

Well mine is way more sad

I silently get tormented and treated like trash

 

During the awful day

My brother bullies me

With a mask that resembles my friend Foxy

 

Then at night it's not easy

For nightmares haunt me

And Jack-O's jump out at me without mercy!

 

I've got to listen close

And check the behind me most

Or that damn Nightmare Freddy turns me to toast!

[Break]

PhoneG: Hey, you're too young to curse!

[Starts back up]

BV: On my terrible birthday

I return to the place I hate

And FredBear suddenly gets hungry!

 

My plushies tell me they're still my friends

Yet I don't care for them

I'm busy deciding to become golden or a puppet!

 

[Chorus, music slows, back to narration]

PhoneG: It's okay little one, I'm sure you'll be fine! Up next, Mr. Afton!

 

[Music kicks up, this part is sung]

PurpleG: They call me the Purple Guy

And I have no idea why

The purple only comes from my Sprite!

 

I work hard every day

Inside a spring suit and on stage

Either FredBear, Golden Freddy or Spring Bonnie

 

Yeah I killed a couple kids

There's nothing wrong with it

It was the way that I was personally rewarded!

 

But the souls were restless

And I knew where they were kept

And I destroyed all of the animatronics

 

I thought I set them free

Yet they were still after me

And I ended up SpringTrapped mercilessly!

 

30 years by myself

Waiting for someone to help

As I was stuck in my own personal hell!

 

They still weren't satisfied

They wanted me to pay the price

So I burned alive inside Fazbear's Fright!

 

[Chorus, music slows, back to narration]

PhoneG: You all did great! Would anyone else like to express anything?

Scott: YES I WOULD. I FUCKING HATE ALL OF THESE DUMBASS PEOPLE I CALL MY FANS. ALWAYS DEMANDING MORE AND MORE AS IF IM SOME SORT OF GAME DISPENSER AND ASKING SPOILER QUESTIONS AS IF I'M GOING GO ANSWER THEM.

PhoneG: Sir, please, you need to do it in song. Also will I return in FNaF:SL?

Scott: I'm fucking done.