[WP] You are Gabe Newell, investigating yet another dead Half Life 3 dev. team.

I walked into the empty office. I kicked up dust on the floor. Everything’s destroyed. Desks collapsed, broken computers-. I can’t even make out there faces. “Umm, Mr. Newell, we heard a huge noise coming from here, what’s going on?”

I turned my head back on our new employee Jeff. He was in his 20’s. Young guy. Guess no one taught him how things go down around here. Too bad. “My god, is that a corpse? Mr. Newell what’s going on?”- He dropped dead to the floor. I slid my pistol back into my shorts. “He knew too much…” I muttered, trying to hold back the tears. I called to get Mitch, the custodian. He’s cleaned messes like these up before. I walked out of the room as Mitch cleaned it up. This happens every time. The first time, they were picked off one by one. So I got a new team. The second ones disappeared without a trace. The third team went mental after whatever they saw. The fourth, fifth and sixth limbs were scattered throughout Valve headquarters, which was almost impossible to cover up. This was team number seven. Seven attempts at creating Half Life 3. No one knew about all these deaths but Mitch. If it ever got out… Then I saw it. A flash drive was on the floor, unbroken, unhurt by whatever happened to this office, slowly I picked it up… I sat at my home office. I’d been sitting there for an hour, staring at the flash drive. I’d never looked at the other teams in progress games. I never had the idea to look at what they’d created. I put in the flash drive.

The screen booted up a main menu. A weird one to say the least. The screen was distorted, and all there was, was a “play” button. I clicked it. A black screen showed. “So you found the flash drive, Mr. Newell.” A grinning face popped up on the screen. It’s taken you this long? “Him…” The cold face started to laugh. “We’ve got all seven versions Mr. Newell. Thing is,” He winked, “THERE ALL DLC!” Andrew Wilson’s face disappeared from the screen “I should’ve known…” A flash of guilt came across my face. I’LL KILL HIM!” “Ah but you see Mr. Newell.” I felt the cold end of a gun on the back of my head. “Once the Valve fanboys Daddy Gaben is dead, and the chance at a new Half Life seems gone, EA will step in and save the day. We’ve been waiting until you were vulnerable…”

“How did you kill them?!” I started to tear up. “The seven teams?!” I heard footsteps. “I’m sorry Gabe…” Mitch walked into the room. “Mitch, how could you…?” “He’d have killed me and my family, I had no choice”- I heard a gunshot, and the thunk of Mitch’s dead body on my wooden floor. “You’ll never get away with this cashcow”-

Another gun shot.

Sixth months later, EA released Half Life 3: Battlefront, along with six of its DLC and a poorly made Portal 3 expansion pack. The game was rated the worst ever released, THE END.

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