Thanks for sharing, this poems is a great read, because I had to read it atleast twice :)

I think your poem could definitely benefit from some further punctuation to help show the reader where to stop.  The strongest part of the poem for me is the last four lines.  Extremely solid.  You should also check out Wallace Stevens' poem 13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird.  

Great graphic imagery developing all the way through the end. I had to go through a couple times to get the rhythm smooth in my head. 

great poem I love your sober style of writing. It creates such a specific image in my head. Try to focus more on the rhythm, it would make the poem more natural.