r/OCPoetry•
Faverett

A Poem Literally about Cabbage

Feedback Received!

'Tis Cabbage the leafy green veggie descended from Europe 1000 BC

a brother to broccoli brussel sprouts and it's in good European cuisine

a major ball player that FAO favors in layers a slayer of sweet

made pickled or sauteed or steamed braised or homemade, the grade A of what is to eat

.

Now brassica history origin mystery varies from Britain and on

from Egyptian omens to Greeks and the Romans all cabbage has come and withdrawn

some nitrogen phosphorus then you'll be off for it like China in Russia Japan

just salvage the package and baggage some cabbage and slap it to where it began

.

.

---haha I was bored!

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4n9as8/first_time_posting_here_3/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4n5wia/unbreakable/

Posted Jun 9, 2016, 6:03 AM UTC · edited

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ActualNameIsLana•

I love poems that are silly and whimsical, and I think you've done an amazing job bringing an everyday ordinary vegetable into the realm of poetry in this silly, whimsical piece. The dactylic hexameter is especially appropriate to creating and maintaining the tone, and your strong adherence to, and creativity within, the AABB rhyme scheme only heightens that mood. The metrical pattern creates a herky-jerky rhythm with many pauses. I truly enjoyed reading this one out loud, especially the final line, with all its internal rhymes and consonance.

The most challenging line to read was the penultimate one, and I think it's because pronouncing "Egyptian" with the emphasis on the first syllable feels so very awkward. I kept wanting to say it "Egyptian", instead of "Egyptian".

The whole thing feels very much like a page directly out of the Gilbert & Sullivan songbook. Perhaps directly or indirectly inspired by "Pirates of Penzance"?

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FaverettOP•

Haha thanks. I personally love "Pirates of Penzance" so maybe it was subconscious...

I find it funny because I pronounce Egyptian with the emphasis at the front.

Thank you so much!

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