Source
r/breastfeeding•
RK90

So my nearly 3 month old won't breastfeed anymore :(

She's been combination fed for at least the last month. This was mostly because she needed medication which needed mixing with milk and expressing before every feed she had was exhausting.

The last few days she's refused the boob more and more. She'll arch her back, cry, pull away, and simply not eat. But if I give her a bottle she'll take it, no issues whatsoever. Today she hasn't wanted my breasts at all, and cried for 20 minutes while I tried to feed her, before I gave her a bottle and she drank the lot.

Later today I'm going to try giving her breastmilk in a bottle to see if it's my milk that's the issue, or if it's me. It's getting me so down. It was the one thing we had that no one else had with her, and without it I'm already struggling.

I'm trying to keep expressing so my supply doesn't drop in the mean time but I'm already feeling less engorged between feeds (or lack of...) and getting a lot less through pumping than I have in the past. I'm so worried that by combining breastmilk and formula I've done the damage myself and she doesn't want my milk any more. :(

Has anyone else experienced this with a positive outcome? I feel like she's made the decision to stop breastfeeding and I've had no say in the matter :(

Posted Jun 19, 2016, 1:21 PM UTC

1119
EverySingleStar•

I don't have experience with this so unfortunately I don't have too much advice. However, is it possible she is on a little nursing strike? My son went on one at 3 months. He cried every time I went to breastfeed him. We never did bottles, but my solution was to feed him when he was super sleepy/asleep. I walked around with him before his naps to calm him down, and when he was almost asleep I would sit down and quickly try to get him to latch. Usually it worked and he would then nurse in his sleep. If it didn't work I just continued walking with him until he no longer cried when I went to go put him in the position to breastfeed.

11
RK90OP•

I might try this, thank you for the tip! It's strange, she'll latch through the night so maybe nursing her when she's sleepy will be the answer. I've not heard of a nursing strike before... I'll check it out :)

5
EverySingleStar•

Yes! My son nursed throughout the night without an issue. Lots of babies "forget" that they are striking at night! With any luck your daughter is on a strike rather than displaying a bottle preference. It took us about a week to get back to almost normal and then it continued to gradually improve over one or two weeks.

3
tk421_afk•

Fwiw if you continue to struggle with feeding at the breast but your mechanical pump isn't cutting it, some women find a manual pump expresses milk better. Also, replace your membranes just to make sure that's not the issue with the machine. It probably isn't but it may be worth a shot.

4
RK90OP•

Of course, thank you. I have both an electric pump and a manual one. I use the manual one during the night when she feeds as to not wake the hubs. I'll start using it in the day for a few days and see if there's a difference. Thanks!

1
tk421_afk•

I hope it helps- I just started using a manual myself. The mechanical works great for me in the first few months but for some reason I don't respond to it later on. Good luck!!

1
Silvicola•

Ours did this a couple of weeks back. We do combined feeding too. We fed her the bottle for a Day or two and she espontaneausly went back to the breast. At night was easier for her to latch.

3
Rhonda7410•

Go on a nursing vacation. No bottles, only mommy and baby in bed for a few days. Baby has obviously decided that working for milk isn't worth it. Show her boob is best. Don't offer it when she's super hungry though. Offer before so she doesn't get upset. I did this to produce more milk once. Naked baby, skin to skin and no interuptions did the trick.

3
RK90OP•

Good idea, thanks! :)

1
Caycepanda•

At that age, sometimes they're just so distracted by the world. That might be why it's easier at night . Good luck with whatever you choose!

2
anchebella•

My daughter had the same behavior you describe at the same age. She is also combo fed. It's so hard because it feels like she's rejecting you.

I think it's a nursing strike and it's probably especially bad because she knows she can get fed AND see the world with a bottle. With babies that age who don't get bottles, they don't know that's an option and will get hungry eventually and nurse.

I have found I can get some nursing out of her if I stand up, bounce, and hold her head in my hand and not the crook of my arm. Then she can see what's going on. I get better nursing out of her if she's sleepy. Nighttime feeds are never a problem. During the day, I nurse immediately after naps. I try again before naps by swaddling her and rocking/bouncing her to get her sleepy before latching.

Now my daughter is 3.5 months. I think the behavior has calmed down a bit and it's slightly easier to nurse. You're doing the right thing by pumping in the meantime. Your "baseline supply" has been established by now, so even if your supply drops now, it should be temporary and pick back up when she starts nursing better.

Stay strong!

2
RK90OP•

It sounds like she's striking, I managed to trick her into feeding when she was just coming out of a nap earlier! She's feeding on me now too, as she's dozing to sleep.

I wonder if I made the world less interesting when she feeds, like turning off any music or the TV when she's feeding it'll help stop her being distracted if that's possibly the issue.

Thanks for your experience, it's good to know this may well be temporary! :)

3
anchebella•

Turning off the tv/music is worth a try! I did the same and now we pretty much only nurse in the darkened nursery. I think it's better that way.

1
Probability_boner•

My ebf daughter was the same at that age. Crying and arching, all the drama. What helped was skin to skin and walking her until she calmed down then trying to feed her. By the fourth month it passed.

The arching back can be suggestive of reflux or strong let down. The reflux turned out to be an issue for my baby. Since this period I've been mainly feeding her in bed, side lying.

1
EmotionalDayLaborerTandem Nursing 3yo & 10mo•

Have you seen a lactation consultant? Babies don't just decide to quit, there's usually a reason, but one that might require professional help to suss out. It would be hard to give suggestions without more detail. Get yourself to a lactation consultant (a certified IBCLC!) as soon as you can. In the mean time just feed the baby, and pump to protect your supply. Do you have a hospital grade pump? You might want to try and get one if you can because it will be more efficient both time-wise and with milk removal. There are very likely some manageable issues if you can get help identifying and formulating a plan!

1
RK90OP•

I'm in the UK so I've no idea what brands would be categorised as hospital grade regarding pumps! Any UK mamas know?

I go to a breastfeeding group every Tues, where a breastfeeding worker helps. I'll ask her when I go tomorrow. Hopefully she can shed some light!

From what I gather, lo is fine feeding if there are no distractions and if she's sleepy. And earlier we had no options but for her to breastfeed, and she decided she'd arch her back and yell about it repeatedly. I gave up for a while, then decided to offer again as she was obviously hungry and it had been hours since she'd last fed. She huffed about it and pulled off a couple of times but eventually fed fine!

What gets me is that she feeds JUST ENOUGH for my milk to start letting down... Then pulls off. Ouch. 😩

1
EmotionalDayLaborerTandem Nursing 3yo & 10mo•

Hospital Grade pumps won't be available in your local store ( no idea if that's something you can get on Amazon...). Over here you usually rent them from your hospital, a lactation consultant practice, or you can get them online from sites like iBrump. If she's pulling off when you're milk let's down, you're almost certainly experiencing the effects of an "overactive letdown". It just means the milk comes out very forcefully at let down. You can let her pop off and then let everything spray into a burp cloth, try hand-expressing/manual pumping to get that initiall let down over with so she doesn't have to deal with the initial "fire hose" spray. You can also try leaning back while you nurse (you may still need to do the above). Making the milk work against gravity can help. This worked WONDERS for my first son. He went from latching for two sips and then unlatching (FOR 45 MINUTES) to being able to stay latched on. It will probably seem like a HUGE inconvenience to need to recline or side-lie, but I can almost promise from experience that you will not have to do it forever. As baby get's bigger and your supply regulates, it will become less of an issue over time.

1
RK90OP•

I definitely have a strong let down! Every time she feeds she pulls off and it sprays everywhere. Side laying helps, but leaning backwards doesn't :(

At 3 months shouldn't my supply have regulated by now? I seem to have fairly well timed leaks now if she misses a feed or is late for one for whatever reason.

I'll think about renting a pump from the hospital, if this issue carries on. This weekend while we have no commitments I'm going to stay in, have lots of skin to skin and try to reestablish her want to breastfeed. Fingers crossed it'll help! I'll be pumping all weekend too off the opposite boob to which one she's feeding from so I'm bound to build up my stash too! Win win :)

1
[deleted]•

[removed]

1