We just found out I am pregnant again. This would put our 2 about 18 months apart. Aside from 'it's going to be hectic" I haven't seen much advice out there.
Any real suggestions on making the madness work? Any sort of schedule you and your spouse take on to team together?
Posted Jun 26, 2016, 9:51 AM UTC
I'm in the same boat, (will be 17-18 months apart, depending on delivery) so I can't answer yet, but we're doing what PP have said. We're preparing big sister for the changes that are about to happen.
We gave her a babydoll and we practice being gentle, quiet and loving. She recognizes the term baby now and will bring her to me when I ask. We feed the baby, tuck the baby in and then praise her for being helpful. "Such a good big sister!" Soon, I'm going to start nursing the doll so she recognizes that's another way we feed the baby. Weird, but it serves a purpose.
We work on the phrase be nice when around the dog, doll or when she's playing with us. She knows what it means and tries to control herself, but she's still young, so she fails a lot.
As for balancing both kids needs simultaneously? I imagine we'll do the triage method. Whose needs are more urgent? Whose can be fixed faster? I know the answer there may not always be easy, but it's not like that forever, either.
Mine are 25 months apart...and let's just say I don't have a lot of positive things to say thus far. My son is now 5 months and he's had a ton of issues. My daughter was an easy baby, coslept and slept 8 hours at night at just 8 weeks. Now I have a baby who never sleeps, and he screams all the time. And I have a toddler on top of it.
So...my suggestion is do anything you can with your toddler now. I don't get the chance to play with mine much, as I always have the baby. Fix anything you need to with the toddler if that means sleep issues, baby proofing, eating, whatever work it out now cause it'll be extra hard to do it when the new baby arrives.
I broke at 3 months and I put my daughter in 1 day a week preschool. I felt super guilty at the time but she loves it. Now she has something that is hers that doesn't involve the baby and she gets a few hours a week to run and play with other kids, something I sadly just can't do with her these days.
My husband and I are single parents, meaning I have a baby and he has a toddler. I do almost all of the baby requirements and my husband handles preparing meals for my toddler, he does bath and bedtime with her while I try to get the baby to sleep. Our house was a wreck so I just hired a house cleaner last month who comes every other week. I just can't handle cleaning 3,000sq ft when I'm trying to get my daughter off the dining room table and my son is screaming to eat. We have have a freezer to keep fast meals in. We are usually pretty exhausted and have zero interest in cooking especially since it means one person is stuck with both kids again.
Basically have zero expectations. My daughter was afraid of the baby and wouldn't touch him or go near him for about 3 months. She now will hug and kiss him and say I love you but it has to be on her terms, she freaks if he touches her. Ask for all the help you can. We sadly have no friends or family on this side of the country so we have zero breaks from the craziness. If you have help, take it as often as you can!
Oh man it's so rough that first year. Mine are now 3.5 years and 15 months old. Things are so much better now! Not sure if you needed to hear that but 5 months out I was a total disaster. All I wanted to know was when my life would stop being so terrible. Things quickly improved after the first year.
No advice for you, but I wanted to say I'm in a similar boat. My two will be 20 months apart. From what I've heard the first two years are going to be hard, but after that it'll be nice because they'll be interested in the same stuff and (hopefully) really close. I'm due in October with my second boy. Good luck to you!
My boys will be about 19 months apart. I am due early August. Things I have been doing is helping him work on his independence as well as getting him acquainted to babies. Luckily his new cousin is around a good amount and he thinks she is really cool. He also has a baby doll and we play together with it. I also plan to wear the new baby as much as possible so I have free hands for my toddler. It's going to be a wild ride, we will see if any of this helps soon!
Mine are 19 months apart. The best advice I got was to be flexible. I had to let go of the schedule I worked so hard to get my daughter on. It just wasn't going to happen in the beginning. The toddler is back on track now that the little one is 5 months, though.
I usually take the little one, and my husband takes the toddler. For the most part he cooks, grocery shops, and does the dishes while I try to entertain the kids. We completely fucked off on basically any other housework for a while. Definitely prepare freezer meals, it was really hard in the beginning. Bonus points for using disposable pans, plates, and cutlery.
Other than that is going to depend on your kids. The little one is really sensitive to noise, so figuring out how to work around that has been a struggle.
My only advice (only have one babe but was a nanny for many years) is to start working on behaviors with your older one now. If you know you'll need them to walk to and from the car on their own then start that now. I know yours is still quite little but being ahead of the game will be helpful.