Source
r/OCPoetry•
dronezrk

Mechanation's Machination

Feedback Received!

Driving down a black top road,

'tween the horizon where the sun sleeps

and where it first sighs,

in this nation where gods are felled

by names such as the Wheel, the Now, and I,

 

I have miles to go before i sleep,

wishing the fruits of labor to reap.

So I blaze this onyx trail

within a churning, clamoring, conserving heap of metal.

 

The new moon sky merges with a darkness betrothed landscape

seemlessly.

I watch with wary eyes the white lines

that seemingly direct and protect me.

 

Soon though, that onyx path becomes one with the heavens

and with where us heathens dwell.

following the path, my monstrous machine fades into silence,

continued with the numbing of my nerves.

 

Freed from the Corpreal!

Unteathered from Sensation!

I now dwell in barren plane;

a void of all except conciousness

 

At Peace

At Rest

At last

 

Then a Big Bang of the material...

I awoke after my circadian clock wound three rounds.

numbness replaced with agony.

tube replacing trachea.

vessels pummping vicodin into my veins.

wires containing a wrecked skeleton.

 

The engine that held me within

was left wimpering in the ditch.

Replaced with apparatuses and automatons

within me.

 

I am praying to a Kavorkian Angel,

whose tool harvests your pith,

"release me from this mechanation,

herry me back to oblivion,

away from Humans' machination!"

 

https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4qnvkr/dawn/

 

https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4qmuw1/cant_lie_im_afraid_of_monsters/

Posted Jul 1, 2016, 3:22 AM UTC

32
girlfromthebasement•

I don't think the concept is bad, but I think it sort of goes on a bit long. Maybe that's just me. Also, I'm not 100% sure what you are describing. Is this person someone who drives trucks for a living? Or is this one big metaphor?

Also, are you aware "I have miles to go before I sleep" is a famous line from the Robert Frost Poem - "Stopping in the Woods on a Snowy Evening".

1
Aqua783•

I like this... in some ways. I read the comment first to see how both the ideas relate and they do, they really do. You could just be a truck driver or... this is a metaphor of someone struggling to get away from the human evolution (which is funny cause I think we're doing pretty great besides killing the Earth) and ending up becoming more like the evolution itself. It changes when the subject enters a medical state. You get pulled back from kind of a religious topic (don't know how to describe that) to reality with "tube" and "Vicodin" something obstruct in the subject's "void".

Truck drivers kind of have a boring life. Doing the same things over and over (like a machine)... you know the more I think about this, the more I like it. I might start rambling even more. Well, I take back what i said about just being a truck driver because this is obviously the latter. I really like this. It got me thinking a lot. The subject's concepts, ideas... originality? (I think) were scraped after the accident and they're continually being exposed to mechanization which (excuse my pun) drives them up the wall. I really liked the allusion to the Big Bang cause you know... you know that's when everything changed.

1