Honestly I'm not sure what to make of this one yet.  There's real honesty here, and that lends the more surreal lines a bit more impact than they would have ordinarily.  And because it's *you*, rolls_for_initiative, and I've seen the work you can do, I'm willing to dig a little deeper here and work a little harder for the payout.  

There are some lines that seem like nonsequiturs, and I'm beginning to think that if I can somehow manage to link them in to the narrative, I may be able to find the intended theme being discussed here.  Those lines are: 

>You look absurd in that Russian hat.  

And: 

>I bet his dad cracks a shitty joke.  



the emotion that is brought out for the reader to see is what counts for a poetry for me.


and i see it here.


one does not need have a unique narrative style, a box full of special not-much-used words, its poetry still as long as a message is conveyed, as long as what one wanted to say is conveyed


you do it in simple language and that for me as a reader is workable


poetry is poetry whether three lines by a child or a thousand lines by a veteran poet/poetess

you have conveyed what you wanted to say and therefore your style is alright for me


although the olive for the drink may be missing

Paradise Valley