Enduring Freedom

"This echo began with teenaged crusades If only pebbles knew the width of their wake"

This is very poignant. Are or were you a soldier? Children idolizing soldiers want to grow up to be one not understanding the full extend of what they would have to do.

The second stanza is strong as well. You see yourself at every age in your dreams waiting to see if you really know why you're there. Just standing in formation and shrugging your shoulders. Enduring Freedom or Enduring Military Service? I hope you find your answers

Okay, you did something incredible with this piece. It goes from being clearly personal to breathtakingly universal. The only complaint for me it that little "you know" comes across as trying to disarm yourself. The 'damned spot' already casualized the piece in a way that also brought some intertextuality. I don't feel like it adds anything. Luckily, this piece doesn't seem like it needs anything anyway.

Thank you.

Love this.

I read through this poem quickly at first, and doubled back at the end to the MacBeth allusion. There are certainly two halves here. I think you did well in the first half keeping the ideas short and terse...it's heavier for it's brevity.

The second half of this poem could be used anywhere, even as a standalone poem. It's vivid and bright and off-kilter and a clever way of conveying a very complex set of emotions and thought processes.

Nice work.