UPDATE: Wore a flight suit. Feelings got hurt.

Alright, hold on to your butts wingmen, the rabbit hole got a little deeper.

Right before lunch, TSgt in question asks me to come to the bad boy (conference) room, asks me to sit, and addresses me: "SSgt Alfalfa, do you know what Reddit is?"

Oh boy. "Sho' do."

"Do you post there?"

"From time to time." I'm paraphrasing here.

"What's your username?"

"Why, u/ChiefCody of course." Nah, just playing. But I stopped there and asked why.

She told me that she knows I posted that situation on here, and that I was not very nice. In fact, I was downright disrespectful. So on, so forth with the Article whatever of the UCMJ threats and all that.

So like the true Airman I am, I sit at parade rest and let her get her spooky threats out there and I ask why she thinks it was me. She says the situation she read is strikingly similar to my own. I, having just watched The Dark Knight, adopt my best Morgan Freeman smirk and say "so in this Air Force of a quarter million people, you think some guy on the internet dealing with bad leadership is me and you're sure enough about that to take time out of both of our days to accuse me of it?"

I expected her to falter but nope.jpg. I realize now in retrospect that I was coming in a little hot there: I both gave myself up and also called her a bad leader, so I get why that didn't work actually.

Regardless, I ask her what her proof is. Let me pause here and mention that I'm pretty sure she's seen me browsing Reddit on my phone at work before. Only on my 15 minute smoke breaks every 2 hours of course, never while jobbin'. But that is the only reason I can come up with for what happened next.

She says "let me have your phone."

Now, I ain't passed the BAR but I know a lil' bit, enough that you won't illegally search my shit.

So I politely say that, unless she's willing to buy it from me for 700,000 pesos, I will not be handing her my phone.

One ensuing standoff that includes visible frustration and more UCMJ threats later, she basically lets me know that she'll be dealing with me tomorrow. I have zero idea where she's disappeared off to.

Guys, am I going to get Mileygated? I do not understand what the fuck is happening in my Air Force. I'm currently grappling at the strategic level on whether or not there was no witness to that mindfuck is in or not in my favor.

May Curtis LeMay save us all.

Edit: autocorrect went full Course 15

Edit v2.0: the crowd has spoken. I didn't think it would get to this, but I'll be visiting the ADC this afternoon. Will update this PM on this post.

ADC Edit: the basic takeaway from a kind albeit ginger Captain at the ADC was that until any sort of official documentation comes down from this, it's best treated as the tech temper tantrum it is, brought up to our senior leadership, and documented via an MFR. She told me to deny and come back to the ADC immediately if the TSgt tries to reapprehend the phone by herself but obviously not to resist if she's accompanied by either the commander/Shirt or SF (which even she admitted would be dumb). And in passing she mentioned that posting all of this to Reddit is not the most tactical move.

AIR POWER, SPACE POWER, A-E-F!

No sign of the TSgt for the rest of the day. Guess we'll see what whacky adventures await tomorrow, but yeah. I might actually start taking that NORDO advice srsly.