Gather round children for a tale of a night out with 6 Shirts, 2 swinger wives, and 2 Young SSgt....

Back in 2008, I found myself going to the Wing Annual Awards banquet at Nellis. I only felt compelled to go because they forced my troop to be a seat filler, so I figured it had been awhile since I had Chicken Cordon Bleu that I should attend.

A SSgt Medchic I had dated for a few months prior was at the banquet, as she was AADD president. She was there repping the mandatory AADD station that no one ever uses. We were talking bullshit after the ceremony, and had no plans afterwards. While we were chatting, a SF First Shirt asked if we wanted to go party with a group of Shirts from the Wing. We both declined, stating that we were going to both be lame and just go home. This dude asks 4 freaking times if I wanted to go party, and at that point, If anybody asks me 4 times to do anything, Im probably gonna be game. I turn to ex-Medchic and say "you're coming with me"

So everyone is rounded up and we enter the limousine that someone paid for. We didn't even make it out of the Officers club parking lot before getting pulled over by SF, to which the SF shirt sticks his head out the door, yelling WTF?......30 sec later we were on our way needless to say.

They had this grand plan of bar hopping all over the Vegas Valley. Our first stop was 697 ft outside the front gate, the classic VFW post. We walk in the place, and its like somebody cues Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" cause people are clapping, shaking hands, yada. We hang for an hour, and then it is decided to move on Bar #2.

We go to the next bar, right outside the Second Nellis gate, the non famous, Buzzard Luck Saloon. This was at my recommendation. Apparently it sucked, because we stayed for 2 shots and hauled ass. Someone suggested we goto the a casino on North side of town, about a 30 min drive. SO on the way there, shit starts getting a little weird. My former Shirt, who just left our Squadron for a bigger unit. He was a SMSgt, and just received the Wing Award for Diamond of the Year.

Out of nowhere, it is suggested that the women should start taking off their shirts. Medchic flashes everyone in the limo, as does my Former Shirts wife...Then the wives are making out with each other, while all of dudes just watch. We get to the Casino, stay for a few hours, everybody is just getting wasted, OH YEAH WE'RE ALL STILL IN MESS DRESS....not paying for drinks, having a great ole time.

Medchic is wasted and starts professing her love for me to one of the shirts.....Shirt comes to me and tells me to get my chick together because she is losing it.....Well now its about 2am, and First Shirts are leaving by the minute. I believe they got wary of how crazy Medchic was starting to act, so most of them split. It was decided it was time to go, so we rounded up who was left for the limo, Medchic, me, Former Shift and some other random Shirt I didn't know.

The limo was supposed to take each of us home. We get to Medchic's Apt and she didn't have her keys. She is looking at me like "can I stay at your place PLEASE".....and I'm over here thinking Rape Culture "Uh, hell no"......So the next closest house was my former shirts house, and he INSISTS she can sleep on his couch. She finally obliged, and got out the limo with him. The limo dropped me off, and I went home.

Monday Morning.

I get a call from my new 1st Shirt, stating come see me. Quickly, I run to my Supervisor, gave him quick run down of Friday night..."partied with the shirts, got drunk, didn't drive home, slept alone at my house, FYI" He laughs and says ok. My new shirt meets me halfway from his office, yells get your hat, were taking a walk. He asks if I need to tell him about Friday night, so I did. I told him I partied with bunch of Shirts, got drunk, made it home safe. His first response "You partied with First Sgts? I could lose my Diamond for that" and some other bullshit. He proceeds to tell me the Wing Command Chief wants to have a chat, and I better not lie to him.

I goto Wing Chief office, as he is waiting. He is there with the Group Chief as well, they welcome me, tell me to have a seat. "SSgt XXX, this here book is the UCMJ, and If I felt I needed to act upon it right now, you would be under arrest, however I don't think that is necessary. There was shit that went down with my Shirts Friday Night, and I need to know about it." So I tell this dude the whole story, and apparently I'm the only one who remembered everything, and was able to fill in where others had left off. It got quite awkward when he asked what happened between Bar#2 and the Casino. I thought about it and the best things I say was " The females lost their shirts, and there was also plenty of Female to Female making out. Sir. He proceeded to tell me that I probably didn't make the best choice Friday night, but overall SSgt's do some dumb shit sometimes. I replied "" Looking back, I'd probably should have just went home"

The Final Chapter.

After I spoke with Medchic later on, she gave me the scoop. My former shirt came on to her, asked to see her breastacles again....at his house, with his wife there. The grand plan was that his wife left the Casino early to "set up" and they figured both Medchic and I would be down with some swinger action with them at their house. Well apparently, I just messed up everything.

Next thing you know, my Former Shirt has No diamond anymore, and has orders to Fort Dix.(Who the Fuq gets orders to Ft. Dix) No new Squadron for him as a SMSgt Diamond. The Medchic, who was severely undermanned in her job at the hospital....She got NonVol orders to Wright Patterson, out of the blue. Then there is me, with just barely having 4yrs on station...I get orders as well. Everyone had new orders within 14 days, and Medchic and I left Nellis to our new bases in 30 days. I never heard from my former shirt ever again.

SO if you're looking/wanting to get orders, consider partying it up with 6 First Shirts, 2 swingers, and you, the young dumb SSgt.