Story: How I managed to fuck up a sign-in sheet

June 2009. A1C Animal, and A1C Homie reported for dorm cleanup early Monday morning. As I walked into the dorm office, I was instructed to sign the sheet and figure out which dorm I was assigned to. I walk over to the sheet, and I realize it is the most disorganized fucked up excel monstrosity I have ever seen. All sorts of highlighted areas, columns, shaded cells, and a sticky note with dorm numbers. Whatever, how can you fuck up on a sign-in sheet? I sign in on what I'm pretty sure it's my name, and let the dorm leader know I have a 0900 medical appointment. They tell me to head out/make sure I don't miss it. Sweetness. Proceed to vacuum some carpet, clean up some garbage, then I went over to Medical. As the appointment ends, I get a phone call from my shirt. "Hey Animal, you're at dorm clean up right?" "Yes sir, just leaving a medical" "Oh okay, I guess you forgot to sign in, the dorm manager was pretty sure you were there, and I know you're not a massive pile of shit. Good stuff, have a good week".

At this point, I'm thinking "Fucking excel sheet, who makes you sign in on columns not rows? Something something nonners". Anyway, I head back and finish the day out. The dorm manager lets me know that I had signed that sheet wrong. I guess I had signed the name before/next to/some shit (fuck that sheet) and a few other guys followed my lead and fucked it up more. The ripple effect of stupidity and Airman not questioning shit. "Well the last guy did it that way, so..." When I returned to my room around 2000 (gym and all, had to rep my Tapout shirts and curl in the squat rack to FFDP), all hell has broken loose next door. I hear screaming, shit flying around, some girl's voice etc. I knock on my roommates door. He tells me that his girlfriend and him are having an argument and everything is okay. Nobody looks hurt, and it looks like she knocked over his figurine collection or some shit, alright cool. I step outside, and Airman Homie walks by. We start to chat. He looks like fucking death. Apparently, he was one of the people I screwed. I did not disclose that I was the one who fucked up. Pokerface til death. When his shirt called him, he did not answer his super sweet flip phone. His shirt, then went to his room to check and see if Airman Homie even showed up to the clean up crew. When the shirt entered the room, he found a girl shacked up inside. This is obviously not allowed. Apparently, this girl was the girl my Roomie was dating, she was staying in Airman Homie's room to use his computer (Roomie didn't own one. He was a reclusive goth kid who just played COD all day and demanded that I refer to him as "Raine", his dark alter-ego).

So, they questioned her and found my roommate. Additionally, she was married to a LT at Hill AFB. We were stationed about 15 states away from Hill AFB. Roomie also did not bother to actually clean his room, so they found his room, entered, and found her clothes everywhere. So this is a whole mess of fuckery. Idk how they met each other, but I guess she was trying to get a divorce from the LT? Homie informs me that the shirt used his super-shirt detective powers, and realized Homie and Random girl were banging, so there's an adultery case. Anyway, que two days of screaming and yelling and absolute chaos as Homie, Roomie, and Random girl argue, fight, and freak the fuck out on each other. I sat in my room wide-eyed and played Mass Effect, trying to drown out the sorrow, angst, and rage I had indirectly caused. I didn't say a fucking word. Last I heard, they were frantically trying to file divorce paperwork and at the ADC every day. I went on a 30 day TDY shortly after. When I returned, I guess the two Airman got LORs, no idea what happened to Random girl, and Roomie was close to getting the boot for multiple fuck ups. I moved out of the dorms and immediately deployed soon after. I don't really know how it all turned out... but what I do know, is that from now on I always double check those fucking sign-in sheets.

TLDR; A1C Animal was the model Airman, who managed to fuck up signing his name, and possibly cost multiple people their careers.

EDIT: Atrocious grammar and clarification.