Source
r/magicTCG•
MightBeExaggerating

Ideas for Cards that Just Don't Work

I want to make a cube of custom homebrew cards that just aren't functional, let alone playable. A few ideas that got me started down this path are:

Stumble - U

Sorcery

Counter target spell

and

Misguided Retaliation - 1W

Sorcery

Destroy target creature that attacked this turn.

Then obviously, either of these could be turned on by a Leyline of Anticipation, but on their own just aren't playable. What cards can you think of that are non-functional. The more complicated the rules scenario to get there, the better I think.

Posted Aug 26, 2016, 1:56 PM UTC

385
GamingG•

Greener Grasses

G

Sorcery

Search your library for two forest cards, reveal them, then shuffle your library.

22
MightBeExaggeratingOP•

Hah, fantastic. That's borderline @RoboRosewater.

3
freethnkrsrdangerous•

Panglacial wurm enabler, way too op.

1
MortalWombat5•

A Pointless Waste Of time

UW

Instant

Shuffle your library.

Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn. You may choose new targets for the copies.)

8
MightBeExaggeratingOP•

This may be my favorite.

2
Bullngopher•

If it was UR, Melek EDH would adore this card.

1
mushupunisher•

Actually pretty cool that you could make someone else shuffle their library.

1
GoldenSandslash15•

Courtesy of Friday Nights by LoadingReadyRun, here's this:

Graham Stark

RG

Legendary Creature - Human Bear

2/2

When Graham Stark enters the battlefield, choose two--

  • Graham Stark gets +2/-2 until end of turn.
  • Graham Stark gets -2/+2 until end of turn.
  • Graham Stark gains haste until end of turn.
8
MightBeExaggeratingOP•

This is another favorite of mine so far.

1
InternetNinjacy•

Run in a doran deck, it's a 0/4 [4/4] with haste. For 2. Not great, but playable. And it reverts to a bear at end of turn.

1
Axehurdle•

Decelerate
U
Instant

The next card you cast this turn may be cast any time you could cast a sorcery.

4
Delta_357•

I can see that being strangely useful with cards that have a casting restriction on them, or does this not override those?

2
angel14995•

It does nothing. At all times you could cast a sorcery you can cast an instant. If an object has multiple restrictions on it, all must be adhered to. As such, the "may be cast as a sorcery" and "must be cast in combat" allow you to only cast this in combat, since you have to decline the casting as a sorcery.

1
Axehurdle•

It won't override most of them. I can't think of any that it will over ride. Vedalken Orrery doesn't let you cast [[Surprise Deployment]] on the end step for example.

1
distavo•

This one may be wrong; it has been a while since I saw it as an example.

Big Flier
1U
Creature - Bird
Big Flier enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it.
Big flier has flying as long as its power is 2 or more.
1/1

With only power boosts, this creature won't ever get flying, because layers. If I am wrong please correct me. It has been a while since I played with layers.

3
TheOthin•

Blue gets its 2-mana 2/2!

2
Darkside-•

I don't understand this, could someone explain?

2
distavo•

There is an order that is used to when determining the qualities of creatures. Since there are so many difference effects that change what a creature is or does, we need to determine certain characteristics in certain order to maintain consistency. This order is the 7 layers.

Layer 6 is the layer that grants abilities and layer 7 is the order that changes power and toughness. Since layer 6 happens earlier, then every time it is checked, our Big Flier here has power 1.

Then we get to layer 7. Here, the power is changed to 2! Our Big Flier can now get flying! But we have a problem. We already DIDN'T give him flying. So he doesn't get it. This is why creatures can't be given abilities based on their power or toughness.

2
miauw62•

Effects like gaining abilities, determining if a creature has abilities, power-changing effects, etc etc are determined in a particular order in the rules through the use of a system called "layers". I don't know how they work exactly, but due to the way these layers are organised, abilities that say "~ has [ability] as long as its [power/toughness] is X (or more)" rarely work as expected, which is why they never print such abilities.

1
SirZapdos•

Dispirited Sentry
2W
Creature - Human Soldier
Defender
~ can't block.
2/4

Bull Lightning
RRR
Creature - Elemental
Trample, Haste
~ enters the battlefield tapped.
At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice ~.
6/1

Unexpected Growth Spurt
1G
Sorcery
Put two +1/+1 counters on target attacking creature.

3
MightBeExaggeratingOP•

I feel like Bull Lightning would be fine just without haste.

1
SirZapdos•

Er, it should have haste like Ball Lightning. May bad. Still non-functional without Amulet of Vigor.

1
Delta_357•

Indirect Hatred {R} {Instant}

Destroy target (non-land?) permanent

Spend only black mana to cast ~

3
GamingG•

[[Mycosynth Lattice]] players rejoice.

3
MTGCardFetcher•

[Mycosynth Lattice](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?name=Mycosynth Lattice&type=card&.jpg) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Mycosynth Lattice) [(MW)](https://mtg.wtf/card?q=!Mycosynth Lattice) (CD)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

1
ShaommonTayen•

Hehe, don't know if I'd be building a cube out of those, but brainstorming on fail scenario's is nice :) Let's see :

Mists of Jund - GG

Enchantment

All creatures have shroud.

1G : Target creature loses shroud until end of turn.

Mercy Killing - 2WBBU

Sorcery

Destroy six target creatures that don't share a color.

Frantic Lion - WWG

Legendary Creature - Cat Soldier

2W, discard a card : put a token that's a copy of this creature on the battlefield

Frantic Lion gets +1/+1 for each other Frantic Lion you control.

1/2

3
VERTIKAL19•

Mercy Killing works just fine. It just requires colourless creatures

3
CommiePuddin•

Wreck affinity

1
captainloafers•

I think mercy killing should cost 1WUBRG

1
Lockeid•

CWURBG maybe ?

1
captainloafers•

LOL YES! <>WUBRG

1
digitaldrummer•

Mercy killing is already a card name

1
Dougboard•

Here's a favorite of mine

Null - (3)

Artifact

At the beginning of your upkeep, you win the game

When ~ enters the battlefield, it loses all types and abilities

Hannah: "No- it does nothing"

Gerrard: "Why do you keep doing these things?"

3
Hellssponge•

10/10 flavor text

1
daleks1337•

Couldn't you counter the triggered ability and make it horribly overpowered

1
Dougboard•

Could fix it by changing it to "If ~ is on the battlefield, it loses all types and abilities."

1
Lazerpig•

I Mean, I Guess It Enables Heroic?

R

Target creature.

3
ZolthuxReborn•

Destroy target creature worth shroud or hexproof

2
MightBeExaggeratingOP•

I like this one, because there are cards that remove hexproof, but I can't think of any that just make it not work...

1
Aerim•

[[Glaring Spotlight]]

3
MTGCardFetcher•

[Glaring Spotlight](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?name=Glaring Spotlight&type=card&.jpg) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Glaring Spotlight) [(MW)](https://mtg.wtf/card?q=!Glaring Spotlight) (CD)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

1
MightBeExaggeratingOP•

Good call; makes the original card even better.

1
spaceyjdjames•

Confused Ogre

2R

Creature - Ogre Barbarian

Defender

~ can attack as though it didn't have defender if a creature named ~ is attacking.

~ can't block.

Thrug no tell which goblins am friend and which goblins am food. Maybe Thrug can help.

4/4

Injured Viashino

1R

Creature - Viashino Warrior

At the beginning of the end step, return ~ to its owner's hand.

Guys, wait up! Ow, this really hurts!

3/2

2
neoslith•

Wait, so I can cast [[Expediate]] to draw a card and smack you for 3?

Or use Goblin War Paint and hit for 5?

1
MTGCardFetcher•

Expediate - (G) (MW) (CD)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

1
spaceyjdjames•

[[Char-Rumbler]] has some space you could work with as well.

2
BW11•

Just tack on "Activate this ability only once each turn" and you're basically there.

3
MTGCardFetcher•

Char-Rumbler - (G) (MW) (CD)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

1
GoldenSandslash15•

Take to the Skies

3W

Enchantment

Creatures you control with power 4 or greater have flying.

This is a bit tricky to understand, but this doesn't work due to layers. The game needs to know whether or not the creature has flying before knowing whether or not the creature has power 4 or greater. Because of that, the card won't actually do anything, as the game never gives it a chance to do anything.

2
ngenisis•

It seems like you're aware that Tabak said this design wouldn't work but you don't fully comprehend why. It's not that "the card won't actually do anything," it's that it wouldn't work as expected when power and toughness changing effects are present. If you control a [[Thought-Knot Seer]] and this card, it will most certainly gain flying since it's P/T is 4/4 in layer 6. On the other hand, if you control an [[Endless One]] with four +1/+1 counters on it and this card, its P/T is 0/0 in layer 6, so it won't gain flying.

edit: spelling

3
MTGCardFetcher•

[Thought-Knot Seer](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?name=Thought-Knot Seer&type=card&.jpg) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Thought-Knot Seer) [(MW)](https://mtg.wtf/card?q=!Thought-Knot Seer) (CD)
[Endless One](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?name=Endless One&type=card&.jpg) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Endless One) [(MW)](https://mtg.wtf/card?q=!Endless One) (CD)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

1
miauw62•

Why doesn't the second work? I assume just because the game doesn't keep track of which creatures attacked after the attack phase?

2
Delta_357•

Also because its at sorcery speed, so it could only target creatures that attacked in the same turn you can normally cast a sorcery speed spell, ie your turn, so it can only target your creatures

2
MightBeExaggeratingOP•

The game does keep track of it after the attack phase. But whose creatures can attack the turn when you're able to cast a sorcery? Yours.

2
miauw62•

Whoops, I completely missed that for some reason... I was completely focused on the "sorcery speed combat trick" aspect.

1
cardboard-cutout•

Pyreheart chimera 1 r r u u

Pyreheart chinera gets +1/-1 for each instant or sorcery card in all graveyards.

Pyreheart chimera gains all keywords of all creatures in all graveyards.

6/1

2
blaintopel•

Stillborn 0

Creature - infant

0/0

2
neoslith•

You want some death triggers? Because that's how you get death triggers.

Or any anthem effect lets it come in as a free creature.

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
acquavaa•

All Your Base

U

Instant

If you cast this spell during a turn, this spell is countered.

You win the game.

1
Simplepain•

Make it sorcery. Because u just cast it on your opp turn 1 and win Edit: my bad miss read

1
sconethief•

Can win t1 pretty easy in legacy with it. T1 fast mana + island and play [[overmaster]] into this spell to win.

1
MTGCardFetcher•

overmaster - (G) (MW) (CD)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

1
solerior•

This is actually broken, as if you copy a spell on the stack you don't cast it. This plus [[Fork]] wins you the game.

1
MTGCardFetcher•

Fork - (G) (MW) (CD)
^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call

1
sewitt•

The Lord's Justice

2WW

Sorcery

Destroy all non-permanents

1
neoslith•

Sorcery or Instant?

1