What is normal? Never been in normal sexual relationship

I'm 33m, HL, wife is same age, LL. We were married as virgins from a very religious background at 21. So I have no real concept of what a normal sex life looks like.

At best we have it 2-3 times a month. Very often 1 time per month. Almost never more than 1 time per week. Very vanilla, she's starfish, I do all the work, she seems confused at what she's supposed to do if I ask her to do anything different. Yet she orgasms easily and always gets off, these days more than me.

In my mind I have this ideal of sex daily or 4-8 times a week that involves variety, quickies, oral, different positions sometimes and comes freely and naturally. Recently had a conversation with friends and realised they've all had sex in semi-public places with their spouses at least once. I've never received oral. I'm really curious what a normal sex life looks like for people in a ltr where both are HL. If I'm heading towards divorce I want to have a realistic idea. I'm increasingly realizing how not normal my sex life is. Please describe what a normal, healthy sex life looks like for people with HL. Obviously two LL people could have a non-existent one and be happy.