My siblings want to meet my therapist

For some context I tried to kill myself back in March, and have been on a long road of recovery. This came off the heels of finding my dad dead in his favorite chair back in December. My dad was my best friend. Anyways it's been six months going on seven since the attempt and they feel" something has to give," that I should be searching for work. Meanwhile I've only had my first real emotional breakdown last Thursday. Now I struggle with am I strong or am I weak. Am I being selfish or am I right in my choice. Do I need to "suck it up" and just do it or if I'm right to keep taking it slow. Anyways.

I really don't want them to meet her, nor do I want to be having this conversation. I'm having a quiet anxiety attack just thinking about this bullshit. It really feels like they don't trust me. I'm tired of receiving validation from all of the support groups, and then getting toxic feedback from them.

I suppose I should be thankful for their support in the housing department, but I've done all of the recovery steps by myself. I've made all my appointments, I'm the one who goes to all my appointments, I've done all the arm and leg work and I'm only now getting so tired as to collapse from exhaustion. I know letting them talk to her, can help but it always feels like an invasion of privacy. It feels like them want to take control of some part of my life, a piece I have rather vehemently defended.

I know what I need to do, what I will do. I'm just feeling so impossibly sick about this conflict. I don't want to have to deal with this shit. I don't want to explain that no something does not have to give. That when you have cancer you don't look at the person and say "you just aren't trying hard enough." I hate that my family is one of the greatest sources of anxiety for me. I miss my dad. Sorry, I'm an anxious wreck.