Trying to have a 'normal' relationship [support]

Probably a long winded back story:

I've recently gone NC with the mother. Growing up, it was always a mine field regarding her moods and what she would allow. One thing I remember was that I would stop asking friends over because I was usually met with "we'll see" or some bullshit excuse. Or she would be tired or angry, or even ignore the question all together.

Chores were a huge thing in the house. She made up chore charts and assigned them to my brother and me. We were to keep that house clean and they were more important over our schoolwork. If things weren't done, she wasn't happy no matter the reason. As I got older, it would get to the point that in order for me to gain courage to let her know I was going out, I would quickly do some cleaning in order to show her I did something and get her to approve my request.

We were never given attention other than the 'consolation hug' after arguments or being yelled at. Didn't know this wasn't normal until staying with some cousins in another state and seeing their dynamic with my aunt and uncle. It crushed my little heart and my mother never changed it when I brought it up. She always maintained that we were shown love and affection.

I was boy crazy in school, had crushes on guys that showed a bit of interest in me. Had a string of high schools relationships that I shouldn't have entered because they just were a waste of time, but my little attention starved heart thought there wasn't anything wrong. They showed me attention! (Nothing sexual. Didn't actually loose the V card until I was 18).

Fast forward to 23, shit hit the fan with mother after I break up with a guy I was living with and she ADORED {she still follows him on social media to this day, and he also has a new gf}, I moved out and remove any trace of her control over my life, accounts etc and move in with my dad. I'm healing and have a new relationship that I really want with a guy and we are a great match.

Two years in, we live together and my emotional baggage is ruining things. He works long hours during the week and has like half days Saturday's. He gets Friday's and Sunday's off. I work the typical 8:30-5 M-F. During the week I take care of things, but when it comes to his days off, I expect him to just help me out (he's admitted that he should be doing more to help). It's gotten to where I feel like my needs aren't being met because I'm stuck in the "look at all the things I've done for you and do for you, can I have attention?" Which is eerily similar to growing up. And it doesn't seem to stick that he's exhausted, wants some time to decompress and has his own pressure from work to noodle through. He's affectionate (hugs and hand holding and the such) but the intimacy hasn't happened for 5 weeks. He says he loves me, and I believe him. What I can't understand is why affection is such a huge thing for me in this relationship, especially sexual, when I couldn't care less in my previous one.

I'm happy otherwise. Honestly, I am.

But this keeps coming up and I feel like I'm going to ruin this relationship if I can't figure it out how to fix it.

I'm in counseling and have been for about 3/4 ish months. Could this be a thing because now I'm having to deal with and unpack all the crap from the mother?

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with someone without the baggage making a mess of things? How do you let it go?

TL;DR: I think my emotional baggage from my mother is going to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend