What Endo really is

Endo is crying on the bathroom floor because you can't move It's lying in a bath tub with scolding hot water until you can't feel heat anymore Like being carried from your bed to the bathroom Like sitting on the couch in the middle of the night crying and writhing in pain because you don't want to wake your boyfriend up, he has to work in the morning and he already does so much for you Endo is talking yourself into getting out of bed because there's so much pain you just can't It's begging anyone to just listen the pain is real Begging for them to fix you because you didn't ask for this fucked up way of living It's sitting up at all hours because your depressed this will never go away It's lying in bed with pain meds and a hearing pad It's cancelling plans because you can't stand up straight It's wondering if you'll make it through the day without hitting the floor passing out out throwing up Hoping that when you have pain and go to the doctor they will call and say it's anything else( anything fixable) It's the fetal position day and night Driving with one foot on the seat and the seat heaters on to try and fill the pain Cancelling your dinner date because your pain hit the max(and your amazing boyfriend orders something and puts on a movie so we can still have our date in bed) Endo is being asked if your pregnant because your so bloated it really looks like it Endo is having your boss tell you to go home because you look like hell Endo is having no social life because everyone is mad at you for not being able to hang out sometimes Endo is asking when you can have another surgery It's being told have a baby it'll fix everything. It's hitting rock bottom. It's thinking your boyfriend will eventually leave you because your moody hysterical its crying because having children may not happen It's wondering why he's with you when he could have someone normal It's the feeling of being stabbed with rusty knives that are being twisted and yanked. This is what a day for us looks like