Throwaway. Haven't posted in a long time, since I was very sick. Something recent set me off; I'm spiraling

I deleted the account I posted here with two years ago. Some coward on r/okcupid used my post history here against me and it cut me to the core, and that was the end of it. Recently fucked up shit went down and set me off. I'm getting that sense of a slightly dissociated perspective again. I know it's just a stress reaction so I'm just gonna fucking ride it out.

This sucks though. I feel like I'm slipping off the edge of a cliff and looking down at the bottom, thinking "fuck no not there again" as I slide closer and closer to my dark place. I'm trying everything I can think of right now. I want to climb back up. But I'm so lonely and I have so much anxiety over my life right now. See you on the other side happiness