I made it through my first day home alone with my two-week-old and only cried twice.

DH is planning to do a lot of working from home the next few weeks, but just for today he had to go into the office, attend some meetings in person, and get himself caught back up. So I was on baby duty from midnight last night until dinnertime, with a brief break when DH came back for lunch. Baby wanted to be held the entire time he was here, so I ate my tuna sandwich over her head while fending off cats, and then handed her to daddy for 30 minutes while I loaded the dishwasher. The only things I got done all day was changing shirts (mine only, baby just wore a diaper and blanket after she spit up on the clothes she slept in) and moving from the bed upstairs to the couch downstairs.

My MIL lives ten houses down the street and would have loved for me to call her, but I really needed to know I could do it myself. I can't say I'm pleased with my progress. If my husband hadn't come home to make those sandwiches I don't know what I would have eaten, because breakfast this morning was just a fruit and grain bar, I had to deal with a headache all day because I couldn't even manage the Keurig.

Baby has been formula fed since the hospital due to extreme supply issues. I spent the first week pumping 8-10 times a day to try to bring it up, but I was crying constantly from the stress of keeping a pumping schedule and learning to care for a baby. I decided to just put the baby on the one working breast as often as I can (before she gets too hungry to latch, or after she's had a couple ounces of formula and is still a bit peckish) and see what happens. I'll never be able to replace formula completely, but if she can't pull down enough milk to keep my supply up, I figure it will naturally drop off without too much pain from engorgement, and I won't feel guilty like I gave up on breastfeeding.

I definitely messed up today on the breastfeeding timing at one point today. I misjudged and tried to put baby on the breast when she was super hungry, and instead of latching she just wailed. I felt like such a meanie for giving her the crappy food option when I knew she wanted a bottle!