My Story

My story starts when I was in 9th grade. I played football and had an injury. A hole in my knee the size of a nickel. Ended my 10 years playing. I avoided a doctor for a while. My mom had 2 scripts of oxy, 30mg and 5mg. She never took the 5mg and never really filled it. So I ended up getting it filled and using it. I took it for pain and it helped. Fucking hell, it helped. This went on for a couple months until I went to a doctor who fixed the hole in my knee by taking stem cells and making a patch where my cartilage grew and they patched the hole. I spent 2 weeks recovering from that surgery. Lots of pain and the only thing I had was 30 5mg Vicodin. They literally flipped my knee cap upside down and only gave me that. I guess its because I was 15. It didn't matter since I still had 5mg oxy I can double up on. I was taking maybe 20mg a day before the surgery. After it was 30mg a day. After the surgery, things got better. I weaned off the oxy and was clean. Doing physical therapy while the pain gradually came back. Everytime I bend my knee it crunches and pops. Hurts like hell. But what can I do? 16 at the time. Can't get pain management. Tylenol doesn't do anything and I didn't want to be taking that every day. So I went back to the oxy. But this time I didn't steal the script from my mom. I flat out told her I was in pain. My doctor only schedules 3 months in advance(ha, I know right?). So I waited 3 months. Taking nothing. Doctor told me it should go away in time. Some bullshit. I asked my mom for the 5mg oxy. She refused because it was addictive and she didn't want that for me. I understand it. But after a few days of limping and laying in bed, she caved in. Told me only for a couple days. A couple days turned into a couple months. Eventually to a couple years. Through that time I went to school with 0 pain. Had a few incidents where I took it without eating and basically almost passed out at school. But other than that, it made going to school easier. Knowing its one less thing to worry about. But, going back to me being 16, I turned 17 and 20mg wasnt working. So it got bumped to 30. Eventually to 45mg. Now I'm 22 years old. Still on oxy. Still too young for pain management. Still too scared I'll need a knee replacement. So I refuse to go to a doctor. Because I know it will lead to another surgery. 3 surgeries at 15 really fucks with your head.

Anyways, sorry for the long text. This is the part that matters. Back in January I went to a Suboxone doctor and planned to get clean. Spent $250 for the first visit and 100$ every visit after that. Fucking robbery. Eventually, my insurance didn't want to pay for it. So I spent almost $500 on a script. That's when I said "Fuck this shit." and stopped going to that doctor. Went back to the oxy in March because suboxone withdrawal...hah..fuck no. Fast forward to now. I haven't had anything since thursday. Been taking gabapentin(from my mom since she gets a script for it too). I'm almost at the end of the tunnel and can see the light. I know once that happens, it's going to suck for a bit. I'll obviously need to go see a surgeon again. Pray for non-surgical treatment. I wouldn't be opposed to pain management.. but again, 22 years old, no one will do that.

I know some might curse my mom for giving me the oxy for this long. But I don't see it that way. She saw her son who was in pain and had no other options from doctors and tried to help. And it did help. It allowed me to do normal things. I wouldn't change anything.

I know my story is a little different. I never took it to abuse it. Never took more than I needed. Never even gotten the "high" most get. Which I think is a good thing. I probably would have abused it then.

I didn't realize how long this is. TL;DR: 15, 3 knee surgeries, constant pain, took oxy since i was 15 for the pain, been off it for 4 days so far.