I slept well for the first time in weeks

Yesterday was meant to be a fast day, and at one point, I knew that I had to eat something. I was ravenous and didn't want to eat 400 cals of cookies. I took my favourite foods that I had left: a head of broccoli, asparagus, spinach, strawberries and a grapefruit. I counted the calories before I prepared them and ate them. It was only 400 calories, but I felt so guilty afterwards.

An hour later I felt tired and went to sleep. Like, a normal tired, sleepy and calm, not anxious and mentally strained tired.

Lately even when I'm not fasting, if I eat my daily calories and still feel hungry, I can't sleep, and my life just feels like a string of consciousness, full of thoughts about what I'm going to eat, how much I hate myself.

Im not going to let myself eat unctrollably like that again, but eating a lot at once helped me sleep so peacefully. I needed that night of sleep so badly. I hate sacrificing sleep for hunger lol.