Bisexual lesbian?

I have awful taste in men. Being a woman, I have just never been attracted physically to a man. I mean, when an attractive man walks into my work and the older ladies twitter on about his good looks, I can honestly say I never even notice the guy. Women, on the other hand, catch my eye quite regularly. I'm to the point that I feel like I'm almost perving on them sometimes. I don't want to objectify, but I do enjoy a beautiful lady.

I have had ltr relationships with men, which were all terrible. Never did I feel an attraction in the traditional sense for any (2, I'm late 30s btw) of them. Both were friends I gradually became attracted to because their intelligence (and/or passion for their hobbies) turned me on. In hind sight these men could be considered "unattractive" because of their weight, hygiene, general behavior in public and private, drinking issues, etc. However, they both pursued me big time, and I acquiest. I figured that, what the hell, I'll give it a go, and if I didn't find our relationship to my liking, I could just break it off. Well, years later and here we are. I'm single now, and not desiring to date anyone but myself - which is what I'm busy doing.

However, being single has afforded me some introspection. I'm seriously wondering if I'm attracted to men at all - or if I just like to have them as friends. Sex has always fallen apart shortly into a relationship with the male persuasion, and I never can orgasm. I feel used and cheated out of intimacy, every time, and honestly - I hate m/f sex. Sure, there's some fun aspects to it - but I'm never satisfied and that ultimately sucks.

Women though - hooyeah. I can cum multiple times a night and love to make my lover quiver even more times than that. Sex with women is just so freeing, so natural. I love being intimate with a soft, attractive, passionate woman.

But, and this is a big BUT - I just can't get close to women the way I do men. I like the butterflies I get when grabbed from behind by a man. I like feeling smaller than my lover. I just have never crushed on a woman with all those swirly infatuation chemicals running through my blood. I'm more freaked out when a woman hits on me as opposed to the confident feeling I get when a male shows his interest. I have yet to fantasize about spending my life with a woman, and this is where I feel a great big UGH, directed at myself. I seriously wouldn't mind exploring that, but I just don't feel a pull towards it. I hate that I feel that way.

I wonder if I'm having issues because I haven't explored that option with any seriousness yet? Is my inexperience with women affecting how I approach relationships? Am I really only sexually attracted to women but romantically to men? That makes me feel like I'm objectifying women, and I don't want to do that. I want to be able to feel butterflies, maybe I just haven't yet?

Any thoughts on the matter are welcome. I love this community and value your feedback. Thanks for hearing me.