Damn It, Debbie: Post-Debbiegeddon update, couldn't live update because no cell signal, also FH has thoughts about things. *cracks knuckles*

Alright, folks. The weirdest time of the year is over and done with. I survived another Debbiegeddon.

Things I was worried about:

1. Debbie overstepping when it comes to talking about wedding.

2. Debbie implying I'm an alcoholic.

3. Debbie making comments about my sleeping in.

4. Not having time to myself.

5. FH being weird.

Of those things, 4/5 happened! Debbie didn't even mention the wedding unless it was otherwise brought up. If you've been following my posts, you know Debbie paid for the deposit on our venue even though I clearly told her we wanted to do that, she has also judged my choice of shoes and the size of my bridal party. But whatever. She didn't mention a thing the whole week!

I took the sage wisdom/wine advice most of you gave me. Much wine, also vodka. Some beers. I was at least a little tipsy for like 3/4 of the trip. Which was good. Except when I started feeling like crap (because I have a few mild food intolerances that I didn't mention to Debbie because A: she'd gripe about having to change the menu and B: I knew it would get mostly ignored anyway) she implied that I wasn't feeling well because I wasn't drinking enough water. Not possible. I'm a lifelong scout who knows how important it is to drink water at high elevations. Then she asked if I was hungry. Nope. Then the immediate response was "Oh! It's because you're drinking too much." Uh, I was never near drunk, except late at night after she'd gone to bed, and no. No, Debbie.

Similar comments were made when I slept in and skipped breakfast. This is common for me when on vacation. I know I'm going to snack all day so I'll be fine and I need sleep because I don't sleep well on vacation. But comments were made. I am not sure about all of them (because I was sleeping) but I know at least one time it was implied I was hungover.

I sort of had some time to myself - because I forced it. When we went on day excursions? I holed up on a beach chair or a tent and put my headphones in or read a book. But there were plenty of times I wanted to just walk away. And couldn't. So it was okay, definitely not enough, but survivable.

Mostly, like usual, the week was very BEC-y. Debbie whined about things, Debbie made weird comments.

I realized I forgot to tell you about Debbie's signature move. Debbie is weird. We know this. Debbie displays a lot of false "manners" or formalities that are really just frustrating for other people. I'll give you an example: in a previous post, Debbie "dropped by" to hand over some paperwork that wasn't immediate. She heavily implied that she wanted to be invited to stay and eat, while FH and I were having a nice date night in. She'd make comments like "Mmm, smells so good!" Or "I wish I was eating dinner with you guys!" Or "I could just stay and WATCH you eat..." Which is not only weird, but, come on. No, Debbie.

Debbie executed this move SEVERAL times over the course of Debbiegeddon. Like, at least once a day would declare she was done eating. The rest of the potatoes/salad/chicken could go to someone else. Then the person would take the rest of the food, and start eating it. Then, when there was only a bite or two left, Debbie would lean in, give a very obvious sniff/look at the food, and talk about how gooooood the chicken was, oh gosh, so delicious. Then the person (usually FSIL) would say "Mom, do you want the rest of this?" (Knowing what she was up to) and Debbie would say "oh, no! No no! I mean, if you don't want it anymore..." And of course, FSIL doesn't want a Debbie fit, so she hands it over. Her own food. To Debbie. Who claimed she was stuffed and didn't want anything else.

This is a standard Debbie tactic. I call it Debbie's Claim. The claim she inevitably has on every speck of food/good thing because she could have taken it earlier.

So anyway, FSIL was pretty eyerolly about Debbie for most of the trip. She's been living with her fiancé FBIL for a few months now, and was likely irritated to remember her moms quirks. Anyway.

FMIL, FFIL, FSIL, and FBIL left a day earlier than FH and I. Used the day to relax and do whatever we wanted to do. Including have sex everywhere. And a lot. Like four times in a 12 hour period. Sweet.

On a non-Debbiegeddon note, FH is having thoughts about things. Not that that's a weird thing, but it's annoying when his thoughts are stupid.

He feels like Debbie isn't involved enough in our wedding planning. He feels like my family is more involved. I tried explaining to him that A: that's not really true and B: even if it was, that just naturally happens, but he got all weird on me.

Let me break it down for you - these are the decisions we've made so far.

1. Venue and date. This was decided by the both of us with help from our mothers. She paid for the deposit even though I asked her not to. (I'm not bitter. Nope.)

2. Who is officiating. We didn't want a stranger and aren't religious. So we had already been talking about asking my uncle, and then he offered. We're officially asking him to do it this weekend. We both agree there's nobody better for the job.

3. My mom is giving us tons of HELPFUL tips and offering to have planning meetings with us every few weeks. This is something that Debbie could be invited to any time, but she babysits for a couple of kids sometimes so last time I think she wasn't available. My mom is a good help with this because she literally plans community events and does contract negotiation for a living. It's not like she's making any decision. She's just going to look over contracts before we sign and offer tips at each stage. It's less meeting and more "dinner and a few questions". I agree that this makes my mom more involved than his, but that's just for now. We made a list of everything that needed to be done and assigned tasks to everyone. It's even. It's just that her stuff comes later. I have invited her on the venue visit (which went badly) and a bridal expo (which also went badly). That's enough for now.

FH brings this up in the middle of the mall while we're waiting for food. I reassure him that she'll have plenty to do very soon.

Still trying to find a polite way to say "Actually, I don't want your mother involved as much because literally everything she has touched related to our wedding has gone wrong and she also wanted us to get married in a park next to a freeway and also she directly went against my wishes and also she judges every decision I make and also her taste is not just different, it's often bad, so no thank you."

I'm going to ruminate on the matter over an entire bottle of wine tonight while FH is out with the guys. Mainly I'll probably just write "no" on a post it and stick it on his desk.