In a weird place mentally - I truly believe the quality of my life would nosedive if I quit

Naturally, as a 36 year old male who has been smoking for around 14 years (5-6 a day, more when I drink), it's clear that if I have any interest in my health, I should have quit already. I know it's not a unique problem, but I feel it's more than just a physical addiction - I enjoy it in ways just beyond getting a fix. I've been reading Allen Carr's book and a big quitting point is that you don't actually enjoy it and it's a chemical dependency, but I can't say I feel that way. I'm watching the ball game right now, and knowing in a couple of innings, I'll step out to my yard and have a smoke is just a pleasant thought to me. The anticipation is exciting and I'm not sure if that's replaceable.

The same feeling happens when out for a few with my friends for a few. Stepping outside, and lighting one up after being a few beers in, at that moment, feels like one of the finer things in life. It is so heavily intertwined with things that I enjoy in life, and the idea of pulling the carpet out from under me, so to speak, is daunting.

Even things I don't enjoy, like waking up for work day in and day out, having to trudge to the train - well, knowing I'll have a smoke while doing that lessens the blow. I'm not an outdoorsy person, but I never smoke inside, so it even gives me incentive to go out and get some air (sounds ridiculous, I know) or go for a walk.

I suppose I'm saying that I'm setting myself up to lose this psychological war and it's preemptively dissuading me from from making a real effort to quit like I know I should. A friend of mine who is a heavier smoker than I am said is basically relegating himself to the thought that he'd rather live a shorter life enjoying himself than a longer one having to be the irritable person he is when he's not smoking. Part of me knows it's ridiculous as there are no guarantees, but part of me gets it.

I wrote this to vent as I'm not really sure what I need to hear (though I'd love to hear any words of wisdom), but just wanting it to put it out there and I figured this was the place. Thanks for listening.