How to deal with nihilism?

I've been doing some introspection. For most of my life I have indentified as atheist yet recently I tried adopting some deistic beliefs. I think it was a subconscious attempt to combat these feelings of nihilism swelling up inside me. Tonight I feel myself leaning back towards atheism. I want to solicite advice on how to deal with some fears that arise when considering atheism.

First, the fear that there is no meaning or purpose to the universe. With a deist mindset I could overcome these feelings, God provides purpose.

Second, the fear of death. I know nobody is comfortable with the subject, but with atheism there is no retreat. I'd rather face the truth than live a lie, but this is a pretty hard truth to swallow.

How do you cope with a meaningless universe and the fear of death? Thank you for your time.