[Skin Concerns] Permanent razor burn on neck, help?

Tried a lot of different things for years to take care of it, some seemed mildly effective but it's never great, and comes and goes.

One of the things I did long ago was stop using those razors with 5 blades and switch over to a double edged safety razor, and always shaving after a shower, with proper exfoliation of the neck to keep it clean and soften the hair. Which seemed to help a bit, but now even with proper angle and technique, just one pass will irritate the shit out of it. I do have a lot better success when I shave everyday instead of waiting 1.5 or 2 days, I just don't always remember and once again- it's still not great. Its worth noting that I do go "against the grain" which I know some people say is a big no-no, but my grain isn't well defined...there is no real way to go "with the grain", and whenever I've tried I get at weird angles that do a bad job and leave finish irritated skin with and a shitty shave.

I've tried switching out every product I use to make sure that's not the cause, and have stopped using any aftershaves after or astringents before or after, probably doing more harm than good, though the astringent was really good at getting any oil/dirt that my exfoliating didn't get.

I've tried just letting it grow and trimming it to stubble, but that still breaks out and is always irritated anyway, doesn't seem to help. Feels like a damned if I do damned if I don't. At least the stubble kinda covers it up- kinda.

It feels healthiest after a good shave, and it would be easy to apply products when its not stubbly, but I haven't really found any products that help significantly and I don't know if I'm doing more harm than good. I've tried various lotions and oils and had mixed results with pretty much everything.

I figure with most of my body issues in life, I just need to find the right combination for controlling it and can forget about it. I'm pretty sure Its pretty scarred by this point, but I definitely have good and bad days. Its worth noting that one side is worse than the other. Which leads me to believe that proper care could heal it up, but as it is, I irritate it when I shave, irritate it when I don't.

I'm not looking for a miracle here, just a way to manage this, not only is it unsightly but it's uncomfortable. I just don't see a way to win when its irritated no matter what I do. Should I try lady razors? My skin in general is pretty sensitive across the board.

Should I stick with astringents before and ditch the physical exfoliation? Any help would be appreciated, I've obviously struggled with this for a while.