I recently got very lucky and landed a great job in a new city, but not knowing anyone is causing me a lot of anxiety. Add to that I recently got rejected by an ex I still had a lot of feelings for, and I find myself comparing my life to that of others. I feel like I just don't know how to make friends and enjoy life the way some people do. Anyone go through this?
Posted Sep 12, 2016, 12:02 PM UTC
As someone who just moved to a new city (1600 miles from "home") about a year ago, I can definitely relate. It took me a good 5 months to stop feeling so anxious every day. I've slowly made some new friends who I really enjoy hanging out with but finding a job was really tough for me. I've got a job now but the job is still relatively new and causes me a lot of anxiety.
I just try to take it one day at a time. I've had a lot of ups and downs recently but more ups than downs and I think the time span between the downs is getting longer and longer. I try to remind myself it will keep getting better and just be patient.
I'll remind myself of the same, ty :)
First off, breathe. This is good news, you got a great job and a new start. It will be tough at first to readjust, but before long this new city will feel like home.
Start off by making friends at work and attending work events. Next, maybe sign up for some sort of class that relates to a hobby you might have. Also, maybe join the gym, it will keep you busy, in shape, and you can meet new people there as well.
As for the relationship aspect, the feeling or rejection never gets easier and feels terrible for just about anyone that experiences it. I would find solace in the fact that this new city is a new start, and you deserve to be with someone who appreciates you.
It can be hard to make friends in adulthood, and sometimes it will feel forced, but once you get out there you'll find that you'll form great friendships and be glad you did!
Thanks so much, I really appreciate this.