Source
r/beyondthebump•
RK90

Helping DD (6mo) learn to fall asleep on her own, without CIO or controlled crying.

So I'd like to help my little one learn to fall asleep on her own. Until now I've pretty much fed her to sleep which takes maybe 30 minutes tops, or had to sit next to the cot for +1.5 hours until she wears herself out, but I still have to be in the room. Will this time eventually become shorter as she learns that cot + dummy + teddy = sleep? Or should I change my tactic?

I'd like to add that although the methods may work for you, I'm not interested in CIO or controlled crying approaches.

Thanks in advance! :)

Posted Sep 14, 2016, 5:45 PM UTC

37
rabidsmilesViolet Feb 20, 2016•

Well, we're breastfeeding here so usually our nighttime route involves nursing her to sleep around 9pm. Any earlier than that, and we end up with a night of wake ups and a cranky girl the next day. She has one wake up at night usually for a feeding but then goes back down. It's our routine and it won't change until she's weaned. Nothing we can do about that now as she has to nurse.

Now naps are a totally different story. I've given up trying to have her nap in her crib at this point. She naps around 10am, sometimes 11am til around 12/1ish and goes til around 2-3pm for her second nap. Sometimes she nurses to sleep and I can transfer her to the floor in the living room on her belly and she will continue to sleep for an hour and a half to two. Sometimes, she's still awake and I let her play herself out. I don't usually force sleep on her, unless it's around 3pm and she didn't have a morning nap. That time, I'll cuddle her in the rocker and usually she's so tired that there's no fight.

Basically, for now, we let her chose when to sleep during the day. It's been working for us. I didn't want to accidentally create a sleep phobia or problems by forcing her to sleep in another room. She naps in the room I am in, I just try to be as quiet as I can.

This could all change when she starts becoming a willful toddler but hoping the ease of learning how to make herself fall asleep might help those later coming days.

1
RK90OPGeorgia born 21/03/16•

Thanks, I think I probably just needed to know that I'll not be harming anything by carrying on as we are.

G will nap in the same room as me in the daytime, and it's a nice set up. Especially when she decides she wants to sleep on my knee - I can just catch up on my shows instead of housework! Plus I love our cuddles. Sometimes we'll both just nap upstairs.

She's great at sleeping in her own room until about 4am when she'll stop settling in her cot, so I pull her in with me and enjoy some sleepy cuddles until the morning.

I'm loving this "best of both worlds" set up we have at the moment, where I get a few hours in the evening to myself, then have cuddles at night. I'll keep as we're doing then, while it still works! :)

3
jaykwalker•

I nurse my 20 month old to sleep on his floor bed. He sleeps for a few hours, then crawls into our bed for the rest of the night. We wake of every morning to snuggles and giggles. Works for us!

1
numericrhino•

I'm in the same situation with my 5 month old. I'm hoping you get some advice I can use too, haha.

1
purpleandgreen1983•

How do you know you can't leave the room? My guess is that it probably will get better in time, but unless you test out whether you can leave or not, you won't know when that magical day has arrived.

I was also very against CIO and controlled crying. We stuck to a strict bedtime routine and rocked baby to sleep. At around 7 or 8 months we would try putting her down awake a couple times a week to see what she'd do. If she cried, we'd rock her to sleep as usual. If she grumbled or groaned we'd wait it out. Around 9 months we were able to put her down in the crib and walk away. She'd moan and sing and grumble and roll around, and would usually get to sleep in about 10 minutes. If she cried, we'd rock her back to drowsy and try again. We didn't leave her to cry, we used her crying to know when she needed our help.

In the end, this turned out looking nothing like what any of the books said. But it really did work, wasn't overly difficult, and there was no trauma on either side. It did take longer though. Probably about 2 months from the first time we tested the waters to the time when it was working. But because CIO wasn't an option, our other option was to rock to sleep, which also takes a lot of time.

1
RK90OPGeorgia born 21/03/16•

I tried it last week, and she screamed out in panic even after a minute so I went back in and she took 15+ minutes to calm down again. She's very sensitive to being left on her own in any situation, even if we leave the front room just to let the cat outside. She's gradually getting better, and we can now put her down - which used to be a definite no no!

1
bouncy_bouncy_bounce•

We found that around 8-9 months, the baby started falling asleep on her own, and we didn't need to do anything. She cosleeps with my partner; I sleep alone in another room. Until about 8-9 months, I had to breastfeed her to sleep - I needed to wait until she was all the way asleep before I could leave.

Now, I still nurse her, but when she's done, she unlatches, rolls over to face my partner, and goes to sleep. We didn't really do anything for this to happen; she just started doing that by herself.

1