I like the consistent categorization of your metaphors. You might get some flack for being that flexible with the focus metaphor of such a short poem but I think it helps you get the message across quite nicely. That said, I feel like you could possibly apply all of the writing under just watercolor if you workshopped it. To talk about the content though. I like it. It's a charming and simple look at how fleeting each day is.
I like the consistent categorization of your metaphors. You might get some flack for being that flexible with the focus metaphor of such a short poem but I think it helps you get the message across quite nicely. That said, I feel like you could possibly apply all of the writing under just watercolor if you workshopped it. To talk about the content though. I like it. It's a charming and simple look at how fleeting each day is.
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Fuck, I absolutely love that. The background really makes it and so does your attitude.
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