At a wake, Goodbye to Language

Feedback Received!

“People of the world, join hands! We’ve got a love train, a love train.”
The O’Jays

What is the difference
between an idea and a metaphor?
What can we conceive that
is not transformed
through ourselves, our tongues,
those tools to decode experience?
All we have is language and
language gives rise to ideology.
Language makes a semiotic slave
of babe and mother alike.
Speech violates freedom, for
when I speak: subject.
When I hear: object.
Soon everyone will need an interpreter
to understand the sounds
coming out of their own mouths.

So join hands! How
you will know if your life was well
lived is if your funeral
looks like this one.
If your death attracts so much love
as this, where death and love
squat proudly at home
in the heart of Hollingdean.
And we carouse them and raise a glass,
our young girls dance.
Put away future, put away past
to dance in a circle in the
community centre. People of the world!
Join hands, join hands.

This morning is a dream.
Each person must imagine the other
is the dreamer. Those
lacking imagination take
refuge in reality. Only humans
envisage infinity as a line
of zeros along the sea, and that’s
what we have in common.


Goodbye to Language (in the title) refers to the Godard film and several lines are taken/adapted from there. "A line of zeros along the sea" refers to a vision a mathematician had (David Hilbert) in which he "saw" the solution to the problem he was working on.

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Posted Oct 10, 2016, 9:05 PM UTC · edited

612
thus-whenforth_your•

-we must simply accept we are all; in a dreamworld and under

 

-stand when power is attached to a word; such as [death & love] or [funeral

 

-& life] therein these arguments are identical in such a way that thus;

 

-one can truly begin to understand the difference between a-

 

-metaphor and an idea, thus; one is an item you can pass on,

 

-therein the other is something; that attaches intrinsically the feels;

 

-Love we can pass on therein we can celebrate the lives we can help

 

 

-while death may be frightening, that moment; you remember someone they are liv-

 

-ing therein you for just a moment, thus; celebrate their lives;

 

-the funeral will cement wherein people remember someone, thus;

 

-remember someone well, or don't, thus; celebrate the victorious dead!

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Bells-On-SundayOP•

Cryptic!

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thus-whenforth_your•

-it's just dacyllic hexameter; places that must be read thoroughly

-to understand, thus? you only make use of so many metric dactys,

-these authors do not choose to write forthwith choice but necessity, in where-

-forth then what? hence-with, I will addendum my tantalizations through-forth!

-thereinthroughoutforthwiththuswencehence= necessary words lost to the tomes.

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thus-whenforth_your•

-A follower. Wonderful, thus whereto; there-through next, decide the path of

&ndsp;

yonder;

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Sora1499MOD•

Hey man. Thanks for giving feedback, but it would help the author more if you were clearer and more direct. If you were to post a poem linking this comment I would not consider it substantial feedback.

1
thus-whenforth_your•

nailed it with a hammer.

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Spilliam_Wooner•

The first stanza really brings up the debate regarding Linguistic Determinism, but overall the poem is an interesting ode to freedom and choice

2
Dorianisntfunny•

Enjoyed this a fair bit, nice job! I only have a few suggestions for the last paragraph, rather than 'This morning is a dream', you could say 'This morning was a dream' or 'Morning's a dream in which / people must imagine others as dreamers.'. This would be all, but by no means do you need to change it if you do not want to. Great poem either way.

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Bells-On-SundayOP•

Thanks for the feedback! I'll think about that line... It was originally This night is a dream, which fits in with being at a wake and dancing, but implies you might wake up in the morning, which wasn't what I wanted.

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[deleted]•

[deleted]

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thus-whenforth_your•

I write really stupid shit like this; put I can write some apocalyptic shit, go critique my one post;

 

[A]What is the difference between an [idea] and a [[[metaphor]]]?

 

A_1_1)[A thought as to possible action]~ [[[A thought attached to an object, thus]]]

 

A_1_2)the true difference is one can carry a feeling whilst the other can’t.

 

[A13])Why is this line just procedural augmented as to explain, therein thus;

 

A_1_4) an Idea of an object must be idealized to create metaphor,

 

A_1_5) thus, when you go back to the line; A13: know I’ve done for ME;

 

A_1_6)you should feel used as such; a worthless thought forced twice upon as thus;

 

 

A_2_1)Whether this makes you mad, or laugh is none of my business, there throughout,

 

A_2_2)Attaching emotion directly to the hexameter; [A13]-

 

A_2_3)grants unique identitity in sense emotion radicalized-

 

A_2_4)A thought must begin to take seed at some point, to gain this power attached

 

A_2_5)A thought supersedes a metaphor, therein quod absolute;

 

A_2_6)Absolutes are the only place for basing and grounding, thus; proceed

 

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yungkunt•

love the ideology in the second last stanza. great poem dude

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Bells-On-SundayOP•

Thanks!

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