This can't be real

It's difficult to get a very concrete sense of what's going on but there's definite feelings of loss, whether it be of a thing, a person or a feeling I'm unsure. I like the form as well. It tightens and expands a couple of times during the poem with the shorter sections feeling more like fleeing thoughts and the longer like conscious thought. Only criticism I'd have is that the the subject itself is a little vague which but it doesn't stop the poem from working.

The emotional/conversational one-sided conversation is an interesting take and tone for the poem but I'm finding it difficult to really... get anything else out of the poem. The whole feels a bit schizophrenic (which may be purposeful) and difficult to pin-point what is going on. What are you truly?

I like this. The sporadic structure can be a little off putting but it seems to fit so well with the message you're getting across. Definitely enjoyed the read.

Spiritual Path of Development

This can't be real; This can't be real; THIS CAN'T BE

That’s how it feels like to take each step of it, you find something that you thought was certain not to be anymore. The third step represents questioning the reality itself.

waaaaaaaayyyy too much; still not enough

This is how I feel about this poem; this is what I aimed at you feeling at the end of it.

meet the hell is that?

That’s when I greet you for the first time; with one sentence I create the main theme of this part, opposite forces, speaking through one sentence, fighting for your attention. They also “meet” in the place I called hell, where the chaotic rule is established.

tumble down

Because this is how you will be traveling through this poem, that is also how you reach the bottom, no easy steps to take my friend, many sacrifices on the way. This is meant to say: tackle up and brace yourself.

cuddle her

This refers to my memory, it is meant to refer to yours as well; a quick glimpse of someone you loved. This is the line when the next force comes to the surface: desire (for eternal, pure, romantic love).

lower lover, lower

Farther than you would know; this is the true development, literally. You’ve got to love the consequence to follow. The lower lover is the devil I met in this hell.

Now the Dukha keeping us in the circle of existence called Samsara is at full display. Really just signalised, consciously hardly even tasted.

balance on the edge, still tasting the air

This is what it felt like to go through this path, unstable, pursuing equilibrium between live and death, love and pain, loss and gain. “Still” is the word in the centre of it; or the pause before it even more. Sentence climbs up to this moment to let you off the hook, get back down alive. It is the moment of relief that lets you taste the air. This is when you look at things differently, with no assumptions, but rather questions about their existence that you took for granted before. [breath in; breath out]

no one you know; you know no one anymore

The first essential layer of this line is emotions, answering mute question about “her” and mirroring it on the whole world including myself that I don’t know.

“She” is the loneliness.

The layer underneath is ignorance, lack of knowledge that bends your perception. Imagine you could speak of concepts and believes the same way you talk about people; it’s like considering roles instead of actors to be “real”. Now if you read the sentence you will find it says:

.

.

.

Nothing you knew before, you know nothing anymore

This is the initiation, invitation to the new reality where all you knew is irrelevant and stale like stone; compared to the water you get to taste now - in the moment.

Who gave you the invitation?

Well “she” did…

You are alone.

you know?

… “her”?

I hoped

you won’t.

I hope you don’t.

Meaning of these lines depends on the way you read them and this is pictured above. Either: I hope you never were lonely, I hope you aren’t right now or I had a hope, you will not have, I hope you lost is already. It’s the interpretation of words that keeps our solitude in perpetual existence, through uncertainty…

I lost the song’s

Ethernal bond

…of the meaning behind them. I don’t know the truth any more than its impressions. It looks like everything has thousands of meanings, each referring to something…

Brain’s too soft…

Mind’s too strong… to fight

Now you get beaten in your own game, by nothing else but the loneliness. Brain you are using as a tool, while the mind can be easily using you.

I can hear… like I was not used to you laugh emotions overcoming words’ meanings.

I hate your lies...

You realise how people lie, even those you considered close…

friend... "friend"... "friends"... ALL...

…goes through the process of mistrust, with emotions as your only compass, but evaluation as well, thus…

False word is wrong... conclusion, when you start trusting yourself above anyone’s words the world is yours… it belongs to liars, at least that’s what I thought I waited too long it took me to follow my own path to the heart.

SHAME is mine the first obstacle to overcome.

bon voyage that’s when depth leaves the poem, to get back in touch with the reader and sense. Relating to the most existential questions for human being to ask and answering them, with structure on the plain sight.

I've become

what you want

You become what you want, but it’s not you who wanted it anymore…

what I’ve got?

This one life

What I know?

no more choice

No free will is independent of who you are and what you are is what you know. That is life, what I’ve got, what I choose, what I want, what I know, this is how I become.

but to strive

but to breath

and survive

Open heart

This is the meditation that saved it and lets it unfold every day, directing it toward freedom.

Through the heart.,,

These next lines go beyond survival.

With first two being crossing the border between what’s real and what’s not.

Can’t believe…?

This is real

The only difference is the belief. Also it is structured the same way the hell greeting line was, but this time forces at play complement each other as one flows from the other, both answering and becoming the final part of the question.

The last six lines and the pause - silence consider world with no beliefs.

Way up high…

Continues the rhythm from lines above. This is the feeling of continuum after realisation. Experience of the same “reality”, yet experienced differently.

waaaaaaayyyyyyy toooooo much…

Slooooow things down, I’ll leave you here with the last four rounds.

to fit in the line

the heavy time

it passes me by

AS I TRULY AM...