girl by the sea

edit: final version

do you remember
the time you cried
as the midnight waves
washed away
her sea foam love
as I tried to drag
your listless body
back to shore?

do you remember
the time vodka and mistakes
ran through my veins
and I clung desperately onto
something, anything
to anchor myself
in this maelstrom of life
and you became
my false sense of security?

because I remember
when you told me
that you were starting to like
the girl who lives by the sea
shy, kind and sweet
salt-stained hair
and sunset cheeks
I guess I stopped listening
when you confessed
that you still yearned
for the mermaid
who didn’t stay,
and that’s when you became
my next mistake.

I should have known
that by shy,
you meant easy to pacify
with your sweet-nothings
and our lips touching
before I could tell you
that me blushing doesn’t mean
these murky waters are where
I want to be.

and then by kind,
you meant butterflies
clouding my mind
as you led me
to the edge of us
and watched me fall hard
into crashing tides
before I realised
I couldn’t trust you
to catch me.

lastly by sweet,
you meant plain naive
because we both knew
you would be enough
to drown me
who knew disappointment
felt so empty
but also strangely
like my head’s out of water
and I’m finally able
to breathe.

original: work in progress

do you remember
the time you cried 
as the midnight waves
washed away
her sea foam love
as I tried to drag 
your listless body
back to shore?

do you remember 
the time vodka and mistakes
ran through my veins
and I clung desperately onto
something, anything
to anchor myself 
in this maelstrom of life
and you became  
my false sense of security?

I remember you telling me 
the next day
that you might like 
the girl who lives by the sea
shy, kind and sweet
salt-stained hair and sunset cheeks
I stopped listening 
when you confessed 
that you still yearn for the mermaid 
who didn’t stay,
that's when you became my next mistake.

I should have known that by 'shy,
you meant easy to pacify
with your sweet-nothings
and our lips touching
before I could tell you
that this isn’t what I wanted.

by kind, 
you meant butterflies 
clouding my mind
as you led me
to the edge of us
and watched me fall hard 
before I knew 
you wouldn’t catch me.

and by sweet,
you meant plain naive
because we both knew 
you would be too much 
and I wouldn’t be enough
but I didn’t believe 
the end of this 
would make me feel
so goddamn empty.

I hope you remember 
telling me to let you go
because you’re not worth it
like she had told you 
a few stanzas ago
and I should know 
you are right
but I will still miss you
a little too much
tonight.

[1] (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/570sfj/river_ghost/) & [2] (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/573tfc/sunday_morning_11_oclock/)