Whale in the wishing well
There’s a whale,
dwelling in the wishing well of my stomach,
like the universe, a widening plummet,
aspirations shut tight like pearls in clams,
moonlight in my hands,
reminiscing lambent plankton,
whilst wading my inner sanctum,
silver glisten of a hooked dream,
there’s a whale to redeem,
my mind spins the handle,
pulling burdens by the bundle,
the whale out of the wishing well,
to excel there’s a need to expel,
excruciatingly, slowly, out of me, he arcs,
never knew whales were made of a million sparks…
swimming away, melting into the night,
leaving me bathed in light and light.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4e1h4i/bloodlust/d1w7geb https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4ds8cu/exceptional/d1w7lr8
Posted Oct 18, 2016, 6:58 PM UTC · edited
384
Don't know how valuable this is as feedback, but I like how you didn't stop with just the whale imagery. The sea metaphors throughout made this a refreshing read. My work tends to be a little more straightforward and I've always wished I could write like this!