I'm not sure, I'm kinda new to this sub. Maybe ask /u/garyp714 or one of the other mods.

I'd edit it and then resubmit.  Get a fresh set of eyes.  Just don't forget your feedback links.

Noted.  I actually agree.  Question:what Is the protocol for editing poems here?  Should I leave this unedited or can I alter my original post and simply put a change log? 

I really like the imagery and except for the first stanza the poem flows really nicely. I actually think the poem still makes sense and reads much easier if you omit the first stanza all together, it feels like you are trying to add context with that stanza that I don't feel is needed.

Edit: I don't mean that negatively. I really like the poem

Hmm thank you for the feedback. I agree with you about the first verse, but I couldn't work properly on it and was feeling a bit frenetic so I just posted it.

I agree. The first verse wasn't that good but the rest was great.

I like this. The 2nd-4th verse was flawless. The problem lies with the first verse. It's just feels very dry and uninspired. Your choice of words, I didn't like. 

Beautifully written, the practical imagery is quite interesting if you ask me, something I can see being written into song! Keep it up :)

The fourth stanza is my favourite!! It created a nice visual for me and I really liked the way it flowed.

I can kill it no more,  
It wont let me get you,  
I fought hard not to fall,  
Now I wanna flee too.

&amp;nbsp;

Me and reality  
Are never quite aligned,  
Never in my lifetime  
Stuck writting pain rhymes.

&amp;nbsp;

Wouldnt it be funny?  
If a smile was enough  
To make a day sunny,  
No complicated stuff.

&amp;nbsp;

Since I cant dive in,  
Ill waddle on up here.  
Stayin still and floatin',  
Over the sea of fear

&amp;nbsp;


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/57wgxh/beating/d8vkv4h
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/57spyv/away/d8vkyme

Fight or fright.