Lost Boys

Wow! Visceral. My favorite part:

Let's go down to little Mexico;
a little high for our kind of low.
My lips traced by wet fingertips,
drawing dewy sighs and heavy eyelids.
Show me what it's like to feel this young
in the dark with incantations sung.
Lips and tongues, hearts and lungs;
you've left your mark while I'm high strung.

I'm not sure what else to offer as feedback. This poem has it's own little story and it packs a punch. I guess if I had to come with a piece of constructive criticism is that I'm just not sure what were doing here. I feel like it's the story of some party kids going to mexico, but there is also the hint of young love in the air. The feeling of drug fueled romance. But at the same time I also like that the poem doesn't explicitly tell us what is going on.

Thank you for sharing!

Love this! Very small and potentially not worth changing but have you considered making 'eyelids' 'eyes'. It would make the same amount of sense to me. More of something to consider rather than something that needs fixing 😊

This is great, i love the ending because its not even really an ending just makes you wonder where the lost boys are now, feel like you should turn this into a short story, good work man :)