Inamorata - A series of poems about Her.

Feedback Received!

Figured I'd share some poetry about a girl I was (sorta still am) head over heels for. One poem used a line from my favorite poem by William Shakespeare, Sonnet 18.

Inamorata

When the light has dimm'd, And I, who hath come whirling among the plague of desolation Would trade all of Life's memories To halt the fleeting ecstasy That is you

Her #1

Why is loves notion so disconcerting? When love is shared by one But burdened by another, it is destined to fail. For the one who seeks fortune, Is the one who loses it.

Her #2

Does there exist a woman as lovely as you? If'n when my despondency has grown And you, who hath consumed my soul, Having already unearthed serene comfort. Remember--

So long as men can breathe and eyes can see, So long lives this, and this life gives to thee.

Her #3

Rough waves do break the darling shores of time; And my eyes which once peered yours lay crossed, yet I continue; Relinquishing hopeless ambitions. For I have stared into Depression's eyes, And it's nary a site to behold.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5959md/speak_volumes/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/595lvd/for_you_i_said_yes/

Posted Oct 24, 2016, 11:32 PM UTC

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BeforeAffluentOP•

Can someone please help me format these stupid stanzas online no matter how many f****** times I post this it never comes out how I type it. Its seriously starting to piss me off. I just want to share my poetry on a website but it NEVER posts the way I post it.

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gwrgwir•

There's a formatting guide on the sidebar.

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The_Real_CK_Miller•

This struck my heart in a way few poems have. Your wording is exquisite, and the subtlety used therein strikes chords against my soul. You are an extremely talented poet, my friend. Thank you for sharing. :)

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bumdhar•

loose the archaic "haths" among other seemingly archaic syntactic presentations. Unless that is what you're going for. The Bard is the man, and if you're trying to emulate him in terms of syntax you risk loosing your audience. I've been there. I once wrote 20 sonnets to a girl I was head over heals for, most based on a close reading of the Shakes Sonnets...I'm embarrassed to read them now, but by the end I could really pump out the iambic pentameters!

Keep it up!

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