Thanks! I was trying to emulate an anxiety attack, I'm not sure if it explicitly worked that way or not though. Appreciate the feedback!

Great, great, great stuff in here. Loved the sensations you created in the car with the smoke and noises. I felt the tension and the discomfort and the "not right" feeling. 

Slightly confused as to what was "not right" in the poem, BUT it's poetry. So maybe that was on purpose ;) Would loved to have been given a bit more to chew on as far as what's so troubling in the poem. 

Thanks, I'm glad It translated for you well!

This gave me a visceral reaction as well. I really empathized with the speaker and the feelings over being overwhelmed by speculation. It's amazing and heartbreaking how debilitating anxiety can be

Thanks. Must say I've really enjoyed your stuff on here too. Keep up the good work.

Thanks so much! You've especially encouraging (I'm quite the fan of your stuff). That analysis is what I was aiming for verbatim. 

This is lovely. The narrative really imposes this fire and the sense of unease on the reader. For me the metaphor appeared to be about not wanting to go to work (or some other social obligation) due to anxiety and becoming more anxious because of not going and the negative loop that leaves us in. Maybe I'm completely wrong in that but it did resonate with those memories and emotions in me. The sense of being trapped, of constantly going around in circles and of almost being chased by the obligation. Overall great job.

Definitely check out Hudsonville, MI 1956; Edward Benz, 27 Times; I See Everything; and all of the Here, Hear series. 

Haven't listened to them (I'm picky with my post-hardcore) but I will check them out!

This reads almost like a La Dispute song, and that's not a bad thing.

Thanks, this one kinda feels like luck for me. I'm glad you like it, your opinion is always a good watermark for a successful piece. 

Wow.  What a journey.  What paranoia.

Your mastery of narrative transitions makes me jealous.  The poem feels completely natural and logical, despite that the narrator's train of thought is anything but.  At no point does a narrative transition feel jolty, jumpy, or unexpected, it all just flows so well. 

The other strength of this poem is how casual and nonchalant the language is at the beginning.  It paints an atmosphere of safety and trust that crumbles before the narrator's delusions.

Yeah, great work man.

Missing Work