'Impossible to contemplate

How long down here they drowned

Impossible to wholly sate

This desire to be found'

Easily the strongest stanza because it keeps a consistent meter. I found the meter to be a particular problem in the second stanza because most of the poem is very regular and that one isn't.

As for the content I thought it was an interesting take on what i assume to be a kind of hell rises up to earth kind of apocalyptic event, the simple rhymes really help push the poem forward as well as a clever use of quickening rhythm.  

**I stir**: I am having trouble feeling any emotion about this poem, perhaps, however, that is not a bad thing.

**I witness**: Forced rhyme and broken rhythm.

**I yearn**: Is the broken rhythm purposeful or due to negligence? Is the poem supposed to be serious or humorous?

**I claim**: It seems like you are trying to fit the poem in the rhyme instead of rhyme to the poem, this makes words seem forced rather than natural. I also find the rhythm to be inconsistent.

The biggest gripe I have is that it has some cliche wordplay ("lurk", "growling hunger", "earth asunder"). The last line is lackluster as well, feels unfitting with the theme.

emotionally, I am having a hard time finding the tone because it appears to take itself seriously (with a theme that can definitely be a mature topic), but with halloween so close it seems more holiday cheer. Plus, zombies...

I am probably being too harsh, and I apologize for that. Perhaps a bit of insight from you will help me understand this piec

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Graves