thanks for your response :) the words are quite deliberately chosen, yes. kind of to give a feeling like a lot of them share a connection, either in meaning or because of their visual quality. I've also put up on explanation in the poem (which is something I should probably just start doing from the get go)

I like how you used the a short and sweet notion to the poem and I feel like the words fit well together. I'm trying to work out the  beginning of the poem though as to whether the person you are speaking is against the  closeness or not? 

Thanks for the reply.  I usually keep all my work in one document, with everything that I feel 'deserving of another look' nearest to the front.. And that poem is still on the front page, so it will eventually go in somewhere, heheh.


Edit: changed the original, as I continue to mull over it. Made it a bit more thematic.

#An end comes to, among other things, a vacation  

&gt;And in that regard I find affinity within  
&gt;your shrewd, albeit distressing,  
&gt;assessment of proximity;  
&gt;and before we arrange to derive affections on   
&gt;our concepts of infinity,  
&gt;we might first still want to get a measure of,  
&gt;a more reasonable vicinity...  


explanation of the poem:


[spoiler](#s "it's basically about a man who's about to return home after a vacation, like the title suggests. And he's been involved in some romantic endeavors (the person he's conversing with). His attitude is supposed to invoke some sarcasm though, he doesn't mind all that much that he's leaving and that she presumably stays or goes somewhere else. He's basically saying, to the end, that it might be better to focus on a nearer surrounding in regards to something more serious... whether she agrees with that is another question (but he fears the worst.. ")

feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5b1wzk/quatrain_3/d9laoif/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5b0u6x/a_more_carnal_darkness/d9laz57/?context=3

Edit: I also have something very small here... based on a previous work. I feel it's too small to really put into another thread altogether. . . Am i allowed to share this here aswell? if not, let me know.

&gt;An intermittent act of  
&gt;welcomed digression  
&gt;bested by bedsheets   
&gt;the half way concession  
&gt;strangely I’ll miss this   
&gt;come post-depression  
