Persephone
she picks pomegranate pith
chews up and spits
two short screech from 'er
ven'rable disease hit
(was once touching with a tanned back love life)
and now stillt pith int teeth
a hiss fromt barren heath
she hardknockt still
screaming tellin me "still bereaved"
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5brrw8/still_life/d9s352o/ https://oc.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5bxc3z/heart_as_a_container/d9s2bzg/
Posted Nov 9, 2016, 2:42 AM UTC
210
This piece is fascinating. There seems to be an e.e. cummings tribute trend lately, and this is certainly a nice little addition to it.
I've read it three times, and I still can't quite put my finger on the meaning. Maybe that's just me at fault as a reader, but I think that for a poem to have significance, its meaning has to be accessible--even, (especially?) for abstract poems like this one.
I usually appreciate the whole mixing of letters and spelling technique, but here I think it's a tidbit overdone in a way that alienates the reader.
I still enjoyed it, and the language you used. Well done! With a bit of grounding, I think your piece could really resonate.
Hey thanks. the spellings are all based on my dialect which is Yorkshire. So it makes more sense if its read in my accent :) In yorkshire we don't say "the" we just use a glottal stop. Hence the t on the end of most words!
Ohhh I understand :)
Now I get the poem. I was wondering why the spelling of words were wrong and if they were an intentional typo.
Sadly, I do not know how does the Yorkshire sound like so I can't say for sure I get what the poem means.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suq2viMVOKw
heres something that uses the same dialect if that helps!
its alluding to going through a loss and having to return back to Yorkshire, where she never wanted to be again. (Persephone was abducted and taken to the underworld)