Intensifier

Strikethrough calls attention to itself as an artifice, breaking the normal flow of reading. Not clear why "He fucked Eve" has no strikethrough. I suggest removing the strikethrough and letting the words stand on their own considerable strength.

I appreciate the irreverent use of the strikethrough as it gets your point across in an interesting way. And, how that seems offset with the non-striked "fucked Eve".

The cadence feels nice, a bit sing-songy in places, but the "intense" feel works well. Nicely done.

I like the strikethroughs although the illusion is kind of lost when it gets to "think for fuck's sake" because that sentence can't be read without saying the word fuck. it would make a bit more sense for the whole thing to be readable with or without swearing?

Hello friend. Welcome to the sub, and thank you for posting. You seem to have overlooked Rule 4 when making your post, which states that in order to post a poem you must provide links in the body of your post to 2 other poems you've given feedback on. I'll be removing this post, but feel free to re-post it with the appropriate links attached or in the Sharethread located on the front page.